I found out why cats drink out of the toilet. My mother told me it's because the water is cold in there. And I'm like, how did my mother know that?
Wendy Liebman
cats mother water found drink cold
I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog.
dating dog free blind
I go running when I have to. When the ice cream truck is doing sixty.
running ice
People always come up to me and say that my smoking is bothering them.. Well, it's killing me!
people killing smoking
My mom was a ventriloquist and she always was throwing her voice. For ten years I thought the dog was telling me to kill my father.
mom voice thought dog father kill
My mother always said don't marry for money, divorce for money
money mother marry divorce
Is there a doctor in the house? My parents want me to marry you.
parents marry house doctor
If you've got a brand like this, any brand in fact, you need to stay true to your roots if you want to maintain your distinctiveness, it's very easy to start to lose that edge by appealing to a very broad audience
true start lose fact easy roots audience brand
I took an acting class. After the first day, the teacher quit, so they said take another. When I saw 'How to be a Stand-up Comedian,' it resonated. I realized I'd rather make 200 people laugh than make one person cry.
people
I think there have always been funny women, from Carol Burnett to Joan Rivers. When the audience sees a woman, they innately know she's worked twice as hard to get there, she's had to prove that she can be the leader, first, and then be funny on top of it. She has to emit a confidence that she's in control.
women funny
I've been pitching a show of five female stand-up comedians through the generations, from Phyllis Diller to Amy Schumer, so when I got an e-mail asking me if I would participate in the Women in Comedy Festival, I was thrilled.
women comedy festivals
I don't think I was funny until college. I lived with some Harvard MD/PhD students - they were so smart, and what I contributed to the house was, I was the funny one.
funny
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