Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me, either. JUST LEAVE ME ALONE.
Zen
leave walk
The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire.
journey broken
It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbour's newspaper, that's the time to do it.
time dawn steal newspaper
Sex is like air. It's not important unless you aren't getting any.
sex air important
Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
No one is listening until you fart.
listening
Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else.
remember unique
Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
water depth
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
purpose life warning serve
It is far more impressive when others discover your good qualities without your help.
good discover qualities
If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
car missing alive
Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
shoes walk
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
succeed
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat & drink beer all day.
man day fish eat drink teach beer give boat
If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
worth person
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