Despite my ghoulish reputation, I really have the heart of a small boy. I keep it in a jar on my desk.
reputation heart small dark-humor boy
While art thrives on the blazing colours of scandal, literature blossoms on the dark soil of tragedy.
literature art creativity writers dark artists tragedy dark-humor soil sad-but-true scandal books
(So I heard the boom of my fathr's rifle when he shot my best friend.) A bullet only costs about two cents, and anybody can afford that.(14)
poverty friendship death poor dark-humor
If per capita was a problem, decapita could be arranged
funny dark-humor
I persuaded him to throw the dirk away; and it was as easy as persuading a child to give up some bright fresh new way of killing itself.
funny children humorous killing dark-humor
Razors pain you, Rivers are damp, Acids stain you, And drugs cause cramp. Guns aren't lawful, Nooses give, Gas smells awful. You might as well live.
funny humor suicide dark-humor
I envy people that know love. That have someone who takes them as they are.
emotions life truth self passion desire dark darkness emotional paranormal paranormal-romance supernatural envy emotion dark-humor gothic gothic-romance lust paranormal-fiction succubus urban-fantasy
Palestinian and Israeli leaders finally recover the Road Map to Peace, only to discover that, while they were looking for it, the Lug Nuts of Mutual Interest came off the Front Left Wheel of Accommodation, causing the Sport Utility Vehicle of Progress to crash into the Ditch of Despair.
politics palestine dark-humor israel middle-east international-relations
The world had been divided into two parts that sought to annihilate each other because they both desired the same thing, namely the liberation of the oppressed, the elimination of violence, and the establishment of permanent peace.
war conflict irony dark-humor
You have to figure that there is something seriously wrong with somebody who wants to enter a profession that deals with whether people are screwing enough. Dealing with spirits, spooks, and demons almost seemed normal.
funny humor young-adult psychiatry dark-humor
There is a moment of sheer panic when I realize that Paul's apartment overlooks the park.. And is obviously more expensive than mine.
comedy thriller dark-humor
It took me a moment. I blinked, and suddenly it swam into focus and I had to frown very hard to keep myself from giggling out loud like the schoolgirl Deb had accused me of being. Because he had arranged the arms and legs in letters, and the letters spelled out a single small word: BOO. The three torsos were carefully arranged below the BOO in a quarter-circle, making a cute little Halloween smile. What a scamp.
funny humor crime dexter dark-humor halloween
When your past shows up to haunt you, make sure it comes after supper so it doesn't ruin your whole day.
funny humor depression reality anxiety dark-humor
However, for all his affection and loyalty towards the animal, the dog would soon be leaving him - they would both be present at a celebratory dinner when they reached the roof, he reflected with a touch of gallows-humour, but the poodle would be in the pot.
dog dogs dark-humor dinner j-g-ballard
I learned that it's okay to feel the way I do: that my life has no meaning unless I have a boyfriend. A real man is like the perfect vampire-boy and all the perfect guys in Twue Wuv.
drugs literary-criticism addiction dark-humor gluttony pop-culture shallow parody heroin
Love is a madness. Love is Failer - Durzo Blint
fantasy dark-humor
Are you entirely sure of that knot?' asked Morveer. 'There is no place in the plan for a lengthy drop'.'Twenty-eight strides', said Friendly.'What?''The drop'.A brief pause, 'That is not helpful'.
Relationships are ropes. Love is a noose. - Durzo Blint
It's better to be loved than feared, but if you can't be loved, then fear will do.-Dino quoting Machiavelli
fear dark-humor
Sow a thought and reap an action, sow an action and reap a habit, sow a habit and reap a destiny - John Cleaver
fiction dark-humor
I've committed to nothing.. And that's just suicide.. By tiny, tiny increments.
I am often thought of as being remarkably bright, and yet my brains, more often than not, are busily devising new and interesting ways of bringing my enemies to sudden, gagging, writhing, agonizing death.
funny humor intelligence enemies vengeance sarcasm dark-humor wrath
.. A man doesn't like to have his ego popped, especially when he prides himself on his sagacity, and then to be proved wrong by a man who claims he doesn't know anything.
funny men ego pride irony sarcasm dark-humor egotism irony-of-life humorous-quotes black-humor
[Or perhaps my friends should have realized that they shouldn't have left behind the FRICKING REASON FOR THEIR PROTEST!And that thought just cracked me up.]It was like my friends had walked over the backs of baby seals in order to get to the beach where they could protest against the slaughter of baby seals.
funny protest irony dark-humor baby
You may be married to a star, but that doesn't mean they'll treat you like one.
funny humor marriage inner-beauty dark-humor fake celebrity ugliness pretty
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