I wanted to feel the blood running back into my veins, even at the cost of annihilation. I wanted to shake the stone and light out of my system. I wanted the dark fecundity of nature, the deep well of the womb, silence, or else the lapping of the black waters of death. I wanted to be that night which the remorseless eye illuminated, a night diapered with stars and trailing comets. To be of night so frighteningly silent, so utterly incomprehensible and eloquent at the same time. Never more to speak or to listen or to think.
I will go, once I have said what I came here to say.I will never shrink from the anger in your eyes-you can't destroy me. Listen to me closely:the man you have sought for so long, proclaiming,cursing up and down, the murderer of Laius-he is here. A stranger,you may think, who lives among you,he soon will be revealed a native Thebanbut he will take no joy in the revelation.Blind who now has eyes, beggar who now is rich,he will grope his way toward a foreign soil,A stick tapping before him step by step.Revealed at last, brother and father bothto the children he embraces, to his motherson and husband both - he sowed the loinshis father sowed, he spilled his father's blood!Go in and reflect on that, solve that.And if you find I've liedfrom this day onward call the prophet blind. Robert Fagles Sophocles
Later in life, I learnt that many things one may require have to be weighed against one's dignity, which can be an insuperable barrier against advancement in almost any direction. However, in those days, choice between dignity and unsatisfied curiosity was less clear to me as a cruel decision that had to be made.