I was so depressed that I decided to jump from the tenth floor. They sent up a priest. He said on your mark...I was lost and asked a cop to help me find my parents do you think we'll find them, I don't know there's so many places to hideOn Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me.
places parents kids lost find priest halloween
On Halloween. The parents send their kids out looking like me. Last year. One kid tried to rip my face off! Now it's different. When I answer the door the kids hand me candy.
funny humor door parents kids face hand answer halloween candy
Last Halloween a kid tried to rip my face off. He thought it was a mask. Now it's different when I open the door the kids hand me candy.
door history thought kids mask face open hand halloween candy
There is nothing funny about Halloween. This sarcastic festival reflects, rather, an infernal demand for revenge by children on the adult world.
funny festivals revenge children world adult demand sarcastic halloween
I bet living in a nudist colony takes all the fun out of Halloween.
fun living halloween
Crystal dressed up as a mummy for Halloween by wrapping herself with toilet paper and ace bandages.
paper halloween
Last year was the first time I actually participated in Halloween. I dressed up as a pimp, and my sister was my bitch. We had to walk down Sunset Boulevard because we couldn't get a ride to the party, and everyone was sticking their heads out of their cars and yelling at us. It was great.
time sunset ride party sister cars walk great bitch halloween
Immediately after Halloween, whatever it is, people's mind-set turns to movies
movies halloween
The things we read in scary stories are just using our imaginations to evoke a feeling. And sometimes that feeling is happiness or sometimes that feeling is surprise and sometimes that feeling is the spooky scary feelings of Halloween.
happiness stories surprise feeling feelings scary things read halloween
Nothing on Earth (is) so beautiful as the final haul on Halloween night.
earth beautiful night halloween
We've got a major scandal with Clinton. Plus, Halloween is on a Saturday this year.
scandal halloween
A lot of adults are very into Halloween.
adults halloween
With Halloween on a Monday this year, that gives people a chance to have parties on Friday, Saturday or Sunday.
chance people parties halloween
It's not a giant thing, like graduation, Mardi Gras, Halloween or New Year's. We do get business from it. That's why we put stuff out; we don't skip it. It's our big thing for March.
graduation business big thing halloween
On Halloween 11 years ago some youngsters thought it would be a good support for their swing
thought good support halloween
This is a comment on fear. Today it's like 'They're going to bomb the New York subway and there's the avian flu and 50 million of us are going to die.' We wanted to make fun of that fear-based culture we've been plunged into. And Halloween is the perfect metaphor for fear.
culture fun fear metaphor today perfect die halloween
One of the tours we had scheduled -- the gaslight tour of Jack the Ripper's haunts, and on Halloween, no less, was canceled at the last minute. I recommend making sure you know the numbers of your tours and destinations so you can confirm your schedule along the way. Also, though we laugh about it now, the Eiffel Tower was on strike so we couldn't go up!
numbers laugh haunts tower halloween jack
The idea is to make sure that these sex offenders are occupied with constructive matters and not focused on the children who may be knocking at their doors this Halloween
idea children sex halloween
It's the first year we're doing Halloween safety tips and specifically focusing on sex offenders.
sex safety tips halloween
For many retailers, Halloween represents the big kick-off to the fourth quarter
big halloween
We've done home visits on Halloween nights in the past, but this is the first year that we've asked sex offenders on probation to come in to our offices.
home past sex halloween
We have never had an incident on Halloween night.
night halloween
She's a cat that doesn't pay any attention to us at all, but she knew enough to come into the bedroom with her back like a Halloween cat and when I wouldn't listen, bat my face.
attention listen face cat halloween
Maybe a better way to put it on this Halloween Day is to say, 'It's not a trick or much of a treat, but it's all you get if you come knocking on the Commission's door today.'
door today day halloween
We had nine pails of candy for Halloween, now we are down to one. They go for a lot of the candy mixes. I think that they buy them for themselves sometimes.
halloween candy
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