A husband is what's left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.
A husband is a guy who tells you when you've got on too much lipstick and helps you with your girdle when your hips stick.
Who persuaded you to cut off the nose of your wife's lover? Wretched husband, that was not the part which outraged you! Fool, what have you done? Your wife has lost nothing by the operation
All that a husband or wife really wants is to be pitied a little, praised a little, and appreciated a little
The last word is the most dangerous of infernal machines; and husband and wife should no more fight to get it than they would struggle for the possession of a lighted bomb-shell
Husbands are awkward things to deal with; even keeping them in hot water will not make them tender
The only good husbands stay bachelors: They're too considerate to get married.
The only time that most women give their orating husbands undivided attention is when the old boys mumble in their sleep
But all husbands are geese, though our pride it may shock, From the first 'twas ordained so by Nature I fear; Ould Adam himself was the first of the flock, And Eve, with her apple sauce, cooked him, my dear
Of all the husbands on the earth, The sailor has the finest berth, For in 'is cabin he can sit, And sail and sail and let 'er knit
Married men make the best husbands
A husband is someone who takes out the trash and gives the impression he just cleaned the whole house
The faults of husbands are often caused by the excess virtues of their wives.
Husbands never become good; they merely become proficient
My husband does not like me to give interviews because I say too much. No talk, no trouble.