They're slobbery and they're whiney and they look at you just like they could see right into your soul and they're unpredictable and the smell and they're noisy and the world revolves around them and why I don't get it. They're not interesting. They can't tell jokes, they don't have opinions, and they're boring, you know They're just boring and annoying and I don't want to have one.
soul world opinions interesting jokes boring smell
I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb.. And I also know that I'm not blonde.
intelligence jokes dumb
A serious and good philosophical work could be written consisting entirely of jokes.
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I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.
government jokes facts
Jokes of the proper kind, properly told, can do more to enlighten questions of politics, philosophy, and literature than any number of dull arguments.
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Just when you think that a person is just a backdrop for the rest of the universe, watch them and see that they laugh, they cry, they tell jokes.. They're just friends waiting to be made.
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Forgive, O Lord, my little jokes on Thee and I'll forgive Thy great big one on me.
forgive jokes great big lord
The best ideas come from jokes. Make your thinking as funny as possible.
funny ideas jokes thinking
They say the seeds of what we will do are in all of us, but it always seemed to me that in those who make jokes in life the seeds are covered with better soil and with a higher grade of manure.
life seeds jokes soil
The real wit tells jokes to make others feel superior, while the half-wit tells them to make others feel small.
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Most comics make jokes to defend themselves against what they see as a hostile and inhumane world often a deeply felt rage.
comics age world rage jokes
Shall I crack any of those old jokes, master, At which the audience never fail to laugh
jokes laugh fail master audience
That family glaze of common references, jokes, events, calamities-that sense of a family being like a kitchen midden layer upon layer of the things daily life is made of. The edifice that lovers build is by comparison delicate and one-dimensional.
life family sense comparison events lovers jokes things common made kitchen
A difference of taste in jokes is a great strain on the affections.
difference jokes affection taste great
If a condescending joke is truly funny, make yourself the subject- you will increase the number of people laughing by at least one.
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A book does not make bad jokes, drink too much or eat more than you can afford to pay for.
book bad jokes eat drink books
The crisis of today is the joke of tomorrow.
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For every ten jokes, thou hast got a hundred enemies
enemies jokes
The most casual examination will reveal the fact that all the jokes about the horrible results of masculine cooking and sewing are written by men. It is all part of a great scheme of sex propaganda.
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To be a successful father there's one absolute rule: when you have a kid, don't look at it for the first two years
funny family fathers successful jokes father absolute rule fathersday
'I was going to start off tonight by telling some self-deprecating jokes, but then I couldn't think of any mistakes I've made to be self-deprecating about.' President Bush, at the White House Correspondents' dinner, poking fun at his performance in a recent news conference, in which he drew a blank when asked about mistakes he had made
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funny government jokes facts
The gods too are fond of a joke.
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Honest good humor is the oil and wine of a merry meeting, and there is no jovial companionship equal to that where the jokes are rather small and laughter abundant
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Gags die, humor doesn't
funny humor jokes die
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