It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbour's newspaper, that's the time to do it.
time dawn steal newspaper
We create an environment where it is alright to hate, to steal, to cheat, and to lie if we dress it up with symbols of respectability, dignity and love.
symbols environment hate dignity lie create dress love respectability steal
I do borrow from other writers, shamelessly I can only say in my defense, like the woman brought before the judge on a charge of kleptomania, I do steal, but, your Honor, only from the very best stores.
honor writers woman judge defense steal
Progress always involves risk you can't steal second base and keep your foot on first base.
progress risk steal
Don't ever let anyone steal your dreams.
dreams steal
Years following years, steal something every day; At last they steal us from ourselves away. POPE: Satire vi., Line 72. I sigh not over vanished years, But watch the years that hasten by. Look, how they come, a mingled crowd Of bright and dark, but rapid
bright dark satire day crowd steal
Don't steal. The government hates competition.
competition government steal
The best minds are not in government. If any were, business would steal them away.
government mind business minds steal
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism, to steal ideas from many is research.
ideas person research plagiarism steal
Immature artists imitate. Mature artists steal.
age artists steal
Those who corrupt the public mind are just as evil as those who steal from the public.
mind evil public corrupt steal
We steal if we touch tomorrow. It is God's.
tomorrow touch steal
A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad.
car man education school university steal
Will We're going to steal a ship That ship Jack Commandeer. We're going to commandeer that ship. Nautical term.
ship steal jack
Immature poets imitate mature poets steal.
poets steal
Those who steal from private individuals spend their lives in stocks and chains those who steal from the public treasure go dressed in gold and purple.
treasure gold lives public individuals steal
If you steal from one author it's plagiarism; if you steal from many it's research.
author research plagiarism steal
Many manufacturers secretly question whether advertising really sells their product, but are vaguely afraid that their competitors might steal a march on them if they stopped.
products question advertising afraid steal
If you ever have the good fortune to create a great advertising campaign, you will soon see another agency steal it. This is irritating, but don't let it worry you; nobody has ever built a brand by imitating somebody else's advertising.
worry fortune good advertising create great agency brand steal
Bad artists copy. Good artists steal.
art good artists bad steal
Only your friends steal your books
friends books steal
I have seen men hazard their fortunes, go on long journeys halfway around the world, forge friendships, even lie, cheat and steal, all for the gain of a book.
cheating men gain world book friendships journeys lie books halfway steal
Thou shalt not steal; an empty feat, When its so lucrative to cheat
cheating empty steal
Hi. You know with everything going down in West Palm Beach, and the holidays right around the corner I couldn't think of a better time to share one of my favorite children's classics, it's called: How the Grinch Stole the Election. And ah--I'd like to read it to you now, shall we?<br/><br/>Every Jew down in Jew-vile liked elections a lot,<br/>But the Grinch who lived over in Austin did not.<br/>I know they'll be voting for Gore, he was thinking,<br/>By Wednesday--the latest--I'll be back to my drinking.<br/>Election Day came and the voting was close,<br/>At one point the Grinch even started to boast,<br/>'It's the Grinch by a nose!' all the newsmen exclaimed,<br/>Even Dan Rather who was clearly insane.<br/>But was he the winner, hey not so fast--<br/>Al Gore called him up and said, Grinch, kiss my ass!<br/>The race was too tight to say who was elected,<br/>The Grinch was so stressed his face got infected.<br/>All eyes turned to Jewville to sort out the mess,<br/>But Hyman and Hershel and dear old Aunt Bess,<br/>Were too senile to vote for the one that they liked,<br/>They poked the wrong hole and joined the Third Reich.<br/>The Jews down in Jewville took to the streets,<br/>To complain about fraud, not to mention the heat.<br/>The Grinch said something that couldn't be gosher,<br/>'This election my friends, is perfectly kosher.'<br/>Then a judge ruled each vote should be counted by hand,<br/>The Grinch said, 'That's not what my brother Jeb had planned.'<br/>His lawyers filed motions and junctions and writs,<br/>Demanding that Gore and the Jews call it quits.<br/>But just when the Grinch thought the deal had gone through,<br/>He met Cindy Lou Lipshitz, age 92.<br/>'Why?' she cried, 'Did you steal our election?'<br/>The Grinch just laughed and gave her a lethal injection.<br/>They say the Grinch's ego grew 3 sizes that day,<br/>Unfortunately his brain went the opposite way.<br/>So here's a lesson for now and for later,<br/>Dont blame me-- I voted for Nader!
funny humor politics comedy race holidays age time ego thought television friends drinking wrong complain classics elections day voting lawyers winner jews blame eyes share judge thinking brain face lesson mess call kiss insane brother hand read election beach streets nose close favorite vote west steal jew heat fraud
Oh God, that men should put an enemy in their mouths to steal away their brains!
life wisdom enemies men enemy brains god steal
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