[I]f the name of wife appears more sacred and more valid, sweeter to me is ever the word friend, or, if thou be not ashamed, concubine ... And thou thyself wert not wholly unmindful of that ... [as in ] thou hast not disdained to set forth sundry reasons by which I tried to dissuade thee from our marriage, from an ill-starred bed; but wert silent as to many, in which I preferred love to wedlock, freedom to a bond. I call God to witness, if Augustus, ruling over the whole world, were to deem me worthy of the honour of marriage, and to confirm the whole world to me, to be ruled by me forever, dearer to me and of greater dignity would it seem to be called thy concubine than his empress.
Many kids have experienced sexual abuse in some form or another and it has wounded them deeply and ruined any hope for making sexual purity a goal. If that is the case with someone reading this, and it is still going on then tell someone you can trust and get out of the situation as soon as possible. But also there is healing and restoration. There is a God that loves you and can heal every wound you have and make you new. I'm living proof that God can use the most horrific experience for the greatest good beyond what you could ever imagine. Obviously if you watch any amount of television then what it will tell you is that it is un-cool to have sexual purity or to save yourself for marriage. If you go to public school it's the same thing. The part you don't see so often is the cost of having sex outside of God's bounderies. The cost is always death, physically, spiritually or emotionally. Many non-Christians support sexual purity because the whole world has seen the way sex outside of God's boundaries can steal, kill and destroy lives. God didn't give us rules about sex so we could be restricted, but so that we could be free. God made the whole idea up and he says that sex is good. But only within the boundaries that he set for it. We cheapen it to the extreme when we go outside those boundaries.
Sometimes I wait at the bottom of those dark stairs, I sit at the bottom of the stairs, I wait beyond the bottom of the stairs and listen to the sounds my wife and children make as they sleep, the sounds our animals make as they step carefully through our dreams and out the other side to polished floor and cold window. Sometimes I wait so long I become unsure if I am asleep, or awake, or dead.
The husband is the head of the wife just in so far as he is to her what Christ is to the Church - read on - and give his life for her (Eph. V, 25). This headship, then, is most fully embodied not in the husband we should all wish to be but in him whose marriage is most like a crucifixion; whose wife receives most and gives least, is most unworthy of him, is - in her own mere nature - lease lovable. For the Church has not beauty but what the Bride-groom gives her; he does not find, but makes her, lovely. The chrism of this terrible coronation is to be seen not in the joys of any man's marriage but in its sorrows, in the sickness and sufferings of a good wife or the faults of a bad one, in his unwearying (never paraded) care or his inexhaustible forgiveness: forgiveness, not acquiescence. As Christ sees in the flawed, proud, fanatical or lukewarm Church on earth that Bride who will one day be without spot or wrinkle, and labours to produce the latter, so the husband whose headship is Christ-like (and he is allowed no other sort) never despairs.