Plain women are always jealous of their husbands. Beautiful women never are. They are always so occupied with being jealous of other women's husbands.
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Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.
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I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she'll kill me.
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My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
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A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
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We must respect the other fellow's religion, but only in the sense and to the extent that we respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart.
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What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bee and he told me about the butcher and my wife.
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Marriage is the union of disparate elements. Male and female. Yin and yang. Proton and electron. What are we talking about here Nothing less than the very tension that binds the universe. You see, when we look at marriage, people, we're are looking at creation itself. I am the sky, says the Hindu bridegroom to the bride. You are the earth. We are sky and earth united.. You are my husband. You are my wife. My feet shall run because of you. My feet shall dance because of you. My heart shall beat because of you. My eyes see because of you. My mind thinks because of you and I shall love because of you.
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My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher.
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On the touchstone of misfortune a man discovers the strength of understanding and of spirit in kinsmen, wife, servants, and himself.
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One survey found that ten percent of Americans thought Joan of Arc was Noah's wife..
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Feedom has never been free.. I love my children and I love my wife with all my heart. And I would die, die gladly, if that would make a better life for them.
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A psychiatrist asks a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing.
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Hubert Humphrey talks so fast that listening to him is like trying to read Playboy magazine with your wife turning the pages.
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A girl becomes a wife with her eyes wide open. She knows that those sweetest words, 'I take thee to be my wedded husband,' really mean, 'I promise thee to cook three meals a day for 60 years thee will I clean up after thee will I talk to even when thou art not listening thee will I worry about, cry over and take all manner of hurts from.'
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My sex life is terrible, my wife put a mirror over the dogs bed. Actually she did put a mirror over our bed. She says she likes to watch herself laugh.
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Many a man owes his success to his first wife and his second wife to his success.
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America Where a man can say what he thinks, if he isn't afraid of his wife, his boss, his customer, his neighbors, or the government.
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Can a man take fire in his bosom, and his clothes not be burned Can one go upon hot coals, and his feet not be burned So he that goeth in to his neighbor's wife whosoever toucheth her shall not be innocent.
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We call that person who has lost his father, an orphan; and a widower that man who has lost his wife. But that man who has known the immense unhappiness of losing a friend, by what name do we call him? Here every language is silent and holds its peace in
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Don't forget Mother's Day. Or as they call it in Beverly Hills, Dad's Third Wife Day.
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We call that person who has lost his father, an orphan; and a widower that man who has lost his wife. But that man who has known the immense unhappiness of losing a friend, by what name do we call him? Here every language is silent and holds its peace in impotence.
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My wife is a light eater.. As soon as it's light, she starts to eat.
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CHRIS The bane and blessing of human nature. That old cat killer, curiosity. Something so deeply embedded in our psyches that it screams to us from ancient myths of Pandora. Eve. Lot's wife. JOEL Eve lost paradise, Lot's wife was turned into a pillar of salt. Knowledge doesn't come cheap my friend. CHRIS Good or bad, curiosity is woven into our DNA like tonsils or like the opposable thumb. It's the fire under the ass of the human experience
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There is nothing nobler or more admirable than when two people who see eye to eye keep house as man and wife, confounding their enemies and delighting their friends.
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