My sex life is terrible, my wife put a mirror over the dogs bed. Actually she did put a mirror over our bed. She says she likes to watch herself laugh.
life sex wife dogs laugh mirror bed terrible
What's money A man is a success if he gets up in the morning and goes to bed at night and in between does what he wants to do.
money man success night morning bed
The iron tongue of midnight hath told twelve: Lovers to bed; 'tis almost fairy time.
time lovers bed fairy tongue fairytales
Any coward can sit in his home and criticize a pilot for flying into a mountain in a fog. But I would rather, by far, die on a mountainside than in bed. What kind of man would live where there is no daring And is life so dear that we should blame men for dying in adventure Is there a better way to die
life adventure daring man men home live kind flying blame mountain die coward dying bed
I take a grave view of the press. It is the weak slat under the bed of democracy.
beds democracy grave press bed weak view
Mighty proud I am that I am able to have a spare bed for my friends.
friendship beds friends proud bed
In bed my real love has always been the sleep that rescued me by allowing me to dream.
sleep real dream bed love
I thought I loved him, but I really just needed him. There was so much death and when I was in bed with him, I wasn't thinking about death.. Look, what I'm trying to say is that we can't know what's in another person's heart, we can't even know what's in our own. Life turns on a dime, and somehow we muddle through.
life death thought heart thinking bed
Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
beds life money bed
Three billion people on the face of the earth go to bed hungry every night, but four billion people go to bed every night hungry for a simple word of encouragement and recognition.
age people earth recognition encouragement support night word hungry simple face bed
Lying in bed would be an altogether perfect and supreme experience if only one had a colored pencil long enough to draw on the ceiling.
beds art experience lying perfect bed
I had a girlfriend that was so fat her bikini was made out of two bed sheets.
funny humor girlfriend made bed fat
As you make your bed, so you must lie in it.
beds lie bed proverbialwisdom
Life is a corrupting process from the time a child learns to play his mother off against his father in the politics of when to go to bed he who fears corruption fears life.
politics life time mother fears process play child corruption father bed proverbialwisdom
I broke my arm trying to fold a bed. It wasn't the kind that folds.
funny humor kind bed
Marriage is more than four bare legs in a bed.
marriage age bed legs
She was so fat that her bikini is made out of two bed sheets (kingsize)
funny humor made bed fat
Sometimes it pays to stay in bed in Monday, rather than spending the rest of the week debuging Monday's code.
rest code bed
One of the most adventurous things left us is to go to bed. For no one can lay a hand on our dreams.
dreams beds things hand bed left
Home is the wallpaper above the bed, the family dinner table, the church bells in the morning, the bruised shins of the playground, the small fears that come with dusk, the streets and squares and monuments and shops that constitute one's first universe.
home family church universe fears morning small streets bed dinner
Life is always a tightrope or a feather bed. Give me the tightrope.
life bed give
Throw out an alarming alarm clock. If the ring is loud and strident, you're waking up to instant stress. You shouldn't be bullied out of bed, just reminded that it's time to start your day.
time stress day start waking clock bed
Misery is when you make your bed and then your mother tells you it's the day she's changing the sheets.
changing mother day misery bed
Work 'em hard, play 'em hard, feed 'em up to the nines and send 'em to bed so tired that they are asleep before their heads are on the pillow.
work play hard asleep tired bed
A man ninety years old was asked to what he attributed his longevity. 'I reckon,' he asid, with a twinkle in his eye, 'It's because most nights I went to bed and slept when I should have sat up and worried.'
man eye longevity bed
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