Jennifer Donnelly - Right now I want a word that describes the feeling...

Right now I want a word that describes the feeling that you get--a cold sick feeling, deep down inside--when you know something is happening that will change you, and you don't want it to, but you can't stop it. And you know, for the first time, for the very first time, that there will now be a and an, a and a. And that you will never again quite be the same person you were.