Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.
When a person cannot deceive himself the chances are against his being able to deceive other people.
Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest.
While the rest of the species is descended from apes, redheads are descended from cats.
We are all alike on the inside
Only kings, presidents, editors, and people with tapeworms have the right to use the editorial we.
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
The more I learn about people, the more I like my dog.
It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.
Do the right thing. It will gratify some people and astonish the rest.
Don't tell fish stories where the people know you; but particularly, don't tell them where they know the fish.
Never pick a fight with people who buy ink by the barrel.
There are basically two types of people. People who accomplish things, and people who claim to have accomplished things. The first group is less crowded.
What, sir, would the people of the earth be without woman? They would be scarce, sir, almighty scarce.
When red-haired people are above a certain social grade their hair is auburn.