Play it straight, come out with the simple truth: He was abducted by space aliens, taken aboard their flying saucer and subjected to various probes.
Scott Ostler
It was a terrible night for Raider fans, who battled a monumental traffic snarl to get into the parking lot, the traffic flow possibly handled by FEMA.
night flow traffic terrible
John Daly played a practice round Tuesday,.. And a couple of the par-threes are so short that Daly didn't have time to smoke an entire cigarette.
time practice john smoke short
truth flying space play simple aliens
So much for 'Just say neigh.'
I won't say Pete Rose is desperate to get into a hall of fame, but I saw him renting a chicken suit.
fame desperate rose chicken
If ( Phil Mickelson ) puts on 10 more pounds and gets paired with John Daly,.. They'll walk the fairways single-file.
walk john
A despondent Crazy Crab tried to commit suicide by strolling through Fisherman's Wharf with a bottle of Tabasco sauce in his claw.
crazy suicide
The University of North Dakota has been ordered to ditch its nickname, the Fighting Sioux. The school says it wants to keep the nickname, so it will fight 'n' sue.
school fight university fighting
He plays poker by night and golf by day.
golf night day plays
Did you hear that Miller is in trouble again? He got pulled over because he wasn't weaving.
trouble hear
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