If you drink, don't park; accidents cause people.
Zen
Don't squat with your spurs on.
If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
truth remember
people drink accidents
Some days you are the bug, some days you are the windshield.
days
Don't worry, it only seems kinky the first time.
worry time
Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes of bad judgment.
experience judgment good bad
The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.
money
Timing has an awful lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.
dance timing rain
A closed mouth gathers no foot.
mouth
Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side & a dark side, and it holds the universe together.
force light universe dark side
There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.
women works theories arguing
Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your mouth is moving.
learning moving speaking mouth
Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
experience
Never miss a good chance to shut up.
chance good
We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse.
naked hungry things born worse wet
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