It would be wise to be concerned about the introvert who is deprived of solitude. Is she neglecting herself due to depression? Is she falling victim to guilt and self-reproach? Does she feel cut off from pleasure? Does she feel dead?
introversion
In an extroverted society, we rarely see ourselves in the mirror. We get alienating feedback. Alienating feedback comes in the form of repeated encouragement to join or talk, puzzled expressions, well-intended concern, and sometimes, all-out pointing and laughing. Alienating feedback happens when we hear statements like, What kind of loser would be home on a Saturday night? Alienating feedback happens where neighborhoods, schools, and offices provide no place to retreat. Alienating feedback happens when our quiet spaces and wilderness sanctuaries are seen as places to colonize.
Our challenge as introverts is to adopt the attitude, based on the introversion assumption, that your need to retreat requires no explanation it is self-evident.
One of the teens I worked with told me about how she loves to take tests, because it is quiet and everyone is occupying their own space.
The British attendees reported a similar difficulty identifying introverts in America because U.S. Introverts exhibited behavior that in the United Kingdom was associated with Extroversion: sociability, comfort with small talk, disclosure of personal information, energetic and fast-paced conversation, and so forth. Most Americans, whether introverted or extroverted, have learned to look like extroverts.
Solitude is not lack.
I heard, for the first time nothing. I danced and did somersaults, lay down in a bed of grass, felt the breeze. And for the first time, I heard my heart, and I knew who I was.
Similarly, a Solo Date is an outing with yourself to satisfy some of your introvert cravings. And it is a delicious treat.
If you retreat in response to desire rather than deprivation, the deprivation may never come.
Beware of extroverts in retreat center clothing!
Showing 51 to 60 of 60 results
You must log in to post a comment.
There are no comments yet.