[Anger is] the feeling that makes your mouth work faster than your mind.
Evan Esar
A signature always reveals a man's character and sometimes even his name.
character
Statistics: The only science that enables different experts using the same figures to draw different conclusions.
science religion experts statistics
Definition of a Statistician: A man who believes figures don't lie, but admits than under analysis some of them won't stand up either.
man business analysis definition lie stand
You can't do anything about the length of your life, but you can do something about its width and depth.
life depth
America believes in education the average professor earns more money in a year than a professional athlete earns in a whole week.
money age education america professor
Statistician A man who believes figures don't lie, but admits that under analysis some of them won't stand up either.
man analysis lie stand
Walking isn't a lost art one must, by some means, get to the garage.
age art walking lost
Housework is what a woman does that nobody notices unless she hasn't done it
woman housework
Definition of Statistics: The science of producing unreliable facts from reliable figures.
science definition facts statistics
Zoo: An excellent place to study the habits of human beings.
places human habits study place
work mind feeling mouth
The quizzical expression of the monkey at the zoo comes from his wondering whether he is his brother's keeper, or his keeper's brother
expression wondering brother
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy - and Jill a rich widow
work play boy rich dull jack
The girl with a future avoids a man with a past.
man future past girl
Character is what you have left when you've lost everything you can lose.
character lost lose left
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