I'd read things, like people criticizing me. But no one likes to read stuff about that, and probably the main thing that was getting to me was me mum's illness.
There's people outside our house; you get followed by photographers; you can't go out and have a cup of coffee with a friend without someone coming up to you.
Kelly, there are people in Somalia who would die for a banana.
I had smoked pot and drank every day for two years. I was taking Vicodin by the handful. Valium, Xanax, Dilaudid, Lorcet, Lortab, Perocet, you name it. It's so easy. It's L.A., you know? You just get it from people.
It's been real weird. It wasn't how I expected my life to turn out. Especially, mainly pertaining to the show. It never crossed my mind that one day I'm gonna be big and famous and have my own TV show, you know?
There's a lot of things that were going on. I'd run out of OxyContin, I was doing a lot of Dilaudid. Dilaudid is like a millimeter down from OxyContin. I was doing a lot of those, and life just got super stressful for me.
I was interning at a record label - OK, cool. I'm gonna do what my mom did, you know, work her way up in the music industry, the business side of things. I was comfortable with that. That was what I wanted to do. And then just suddenly I am thrown from that. It was super insane.
Dad was just an emotional wreck. He was drinking a lot of the time, he was smoking a lot of pot. And because he takes certain medications, the drinking was making him... you know, he wasn't even present, really.
For a while I was suicidal and I tried to kill myself. I think I should have died about four times.
But you know, my mom having to go to the hospital seven times... like passed out because of pain... I wouldn't come home and sit with my family and be with my dad - I'd call someone up and... I'd go and get obliterated drunk and I'd go, like, on two-week benders.
I'm totally grateful for the fans my family has and I have; they gave me a lot of support when I was in treatment. But it was just odd, you know? It's stressful. Just the whole fact of being someone in the public eye.
As long as I know my head's in the right place, my feet are on the ground, I think I'll be fine.
Well, all I can say is, it's a day-by-day program, and so I'm very worried about relapsing, but I don't know. I don't want to use. I don't want to go back to that place because nothing good came of it. It was super dark; it's not nice.
Mom! It's the cops! I'm gonna get nicked, I'm gonna get nicked!
If I have a problem, stuff's going through my head, I feel like using, I usually go and talk to my dad... I decided to get sober a lot younger than he did. He first tried to get sober when he was like 32, I believe.