I never did anything according to what anyone else wanted. That's why I think I am happy. I do everything 100%--even my stupidest missteps. I know when I'm getting ready to mess up, I'm going to do it full-on. That's the way I was as a kid. Even into adulthood, I look back at some things and go, 'I can't believe I did that.' But I can also go back and say, 'I did that, I know I'm responsible for that, and I can make amends,' and we can all laugh at it, because it's my mistake. I try not to blame it on anyone else unless I fully know it was their fault--and then I have no problem pointing the finger.
Do you not know that God entrusted you with that money (all above what buys necessities for your families) to feed the hungry, to clothe the naked, to help the stranger, the widow, the fatherless; and, indeed, as far as it will go, to relieve the wants of all mankind? How can you, how dare you, defraud the Lord, by applying it to any other purpose?
What we wantis never simple. We move among the thingswe thought we wanted: a face, a room, an open bookand these things bear our names --now they want us. But what we want appearsin dreams, wearing disguises. We fall past, holding out our armsand in the morningour arms ache. We don't remember the dream, but the dream remembers us. It is there all dayas an animal is thereunder the table, as the stars are there.
Experience has taught us that material wants know no natural bounds, that they will expand without end unless we consciously restrain them. Capitalism rests precisely on this endless expansion of wants. That is why, for all its success, it remains so unloved. It has given us wealth beyond measure, but has taken away the chief benefit of wealth: the consciousness of having enough.
But Katie knew it was a sin, had known from the moment she made the decision to lie with Adam. However, the transgression wasn't making love without the sanction of marriage. It was that for the first time in her life, Katie had put herself first. Put her own wants and needs above everything and everyone else.