Immortality: A toy which people cry for, And on their knees apply for, Dispute, contend and lie for, And if allowed Would be right proud Eternally to die for.
Bierce, Ambrose
Ability is commonly found to consist mainly in a high degree of solemnity.
ability found solemnity
Age that period of life in which we compound for the vices that we still cherish by reviling those that we no longer have the enterprise to commit.
vices life age enterprise
Beauty, n: the power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband.
power beauty woman husband lover
Bore. A person who talks when you wish him to listen.
person listen bore
Corporation: an ingenious device for obtaining individual profit without individual responsibility.
business responsibility individual profit
Conservative: A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the liberal, who wishes to replace them with others.
wishes liberal conservative
Destiny: A tyrant's authority for crime and a fool's excuse for failure.
crime failure destiny authority excuse
people immortality cry lie die proud
Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.
law machine
Marriage: a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves - making in all two.
community marriage master
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