Marriage is a wonderful invention, but, then again, so is a bicycle repair kit!
Billy Connelly
A woman's mind is as complex as the contents of her handbag; even when you get to the bottom of it, there is ALWAYS something at the bottom to surprise you!
mind surprise complex
To a member of the audience who was heckling - 'Don't tell me how to do my job, do I go to your job and tell you how to sweep up
job audience
In Scotland, there is no such thing as bad weather - only the wrong clothes.<br/>
wrong bad weather scotland clothes thing
Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that who cares?.. He's a mile away and you've got his shoes!
man judge shoes walk
People who ask, Can I ask you a question? Didn't really give me a choice there, did you sunshine?<br/><br/>When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks, Has the bus come yet? If the bus came, would I be standing here, Knobhead?<br/><br/>When you're involved in an accident and someone asks, Are you alright? Yes, fine thanks, I'll just pick up my limbs and be off. <br/><br/>People who announce they are going to the toilet. Thanks, that's an image I really didn't need.
choice accident people image waiting question give sunshine
marriage invention wonderful
I think my securities far outweigh my insecurities. I am not nearly as afraid of myself and my imagination as I used to be.
imagination afraid insecurities
What's being bought is the PR value, and the marketing value.
marketing
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