The angel has confided in me that he is going to ask the Lord if he can become Spider-Man. [..] The children need heroes, he says. I think he just wants to swing from buildings in tight red jammies.
Christopher Moore
Oh, sweetie, I'm sorry, you can't have a baby brother, because that would mean that Daddy had sex, and that's never going to happen again.
funny humor
Let me say right here, if I haven't made it clear, that I have seen as many pale, naked old-man parts in the last twenty-four hours to bruise my delicate psyche for a lifetime, so don't be surprised if you someday find me wandering the moors at midnight, a crazed look in my eye, babbling about albino Tater Tots nesting in Brillo pads and being pursued by sagging man ass, because that shit can happen when you've been traumatized.
I've won Satan's lottery.
funny humor vampires
Shoes off in the whale! And don't try and make a break for the anus.
He was a writer and words were his weapons.
funny humor writer words
By Aladdin's lamplit scrotum, man! Everything is a story. What is there but stories? Stories are the only truth.
funny humor stories story
I know that even now, having watched enough television, you probably won't even refer to them as lepers so as to spare their feelings. You probably call them 'parts-dropping-off challenged' or something.
funny humor political-correctness
OMFGEIGHTPOUNDBABYJESUSONAPOGOSTICK WHAT?
funny humour
It was an eight-harlot inn, if that's how you measure an inn. (I understand that now they measure inns in stars. We are in a four-star inn right now. I don't know what the conversion from harlots to stars is.)
We were seekers. You are that which is sought, Joshua. You are the source. The end is divinity, in the beginning is the word. You are the word.
religion inspirational jesus seeking
Love needs room to grow. Like a rose. Or a tumor.
fool rose
Love is not something you think about, it is a state in which you dwell
All killer whales are named Kevin. You knew that, right?
funny humor science
Science, you don't know, looks like magic.
magic science
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