If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank.
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My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher.
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Everywhere I go I'm asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don't stifle enough of them.
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Prudent people are very happy 'tis an exceeding fine thing, that's certain, but I was born without it, and shall retain to my day of Death the Humour of saying what I think.
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The secret source of humour itself is not joy, but sorrow. There is no humour in heaven.
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At least one way of measuring the freedom of any society is the amount of comedy that is permitted, and clearly a healthy society permits more satirical comment than a repressive, so that if comedy is to function in some way as a safety release then it must obviously deal with these taboo areas. This is part of the responsibility we accord our licensed jesters, that nothing be excused the searching light of comedy. If anything can survive the probe of humour it is clearly of value, and conversely all groups who claim immunity from laughter are claiming special privileges which should not be granted.
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You are not angry with people when you laugh at them. Humour teaches tolerance.
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The only difference between the Democrats and the Republicans is that the Democrats allow the poor to be corrupt, too.
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Everything I do, I feel is genius. Whether it is or it isn't.
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Oh, I love hugging. I wish I was an octopus, so I could hug 10 people at a time!
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The poor girl does not know how to have a conversation. Unfortunately, she does know how to speak.
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The Almighty in His infinite wisdom did not see fit to create Frenchmen in the image of Englishmen.
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A fashion is nothing but an induced epidemic.
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Operator, give me the number for 911!
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Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
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Let the little fairy in you fly!
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There is no need to do any housework at all. After the first four years the dirt doesn't get any worse.
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Humor is emotional chaos remembered in tranquility.
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There's no life without humour. It can make the wonderful moments of life truly glorious, and it can make tragic moments bearable.
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This is it, folks. This is the idea which has kept me virtually unknown for the past 16 years. I have watched my crowds dwindle. I am going nowhere, and nowhere quick, but, those of you who have children, I am sorry to tell you this, but they are not special. Wait! I know some of you are going what, what? Let me just clarify: I know YOU think they're special.. Ha ha ha! I'm aware of that. I'm just here to tell you, that they're NOT! Ha ha ha ha! Sorry. Did you know that every time a guy comes he comes two-hundred million sperm? One out of TWO-HUNDRED MILLION that load, we're only talking about one load connected: gee, what are the fucking odds? Do you know what that means? I've wiped nations off've my chest with a grey gymsock. ENTIRE CIVILISATIONS HAVE FLAKED AND CRUSTED IN THE HAIR AROUND MY NAVEL! [..] I've tossed universes in my underpants while napping. Boom! A Milkyway shoots into my jockeyshorts: Unngh.. What's for fucking breakfast!
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I may not lead the most dramatic life, but in my brain it's War and Peace everyday.
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Humour is the weapon of unarmed people: it helps people who are oppressed to smile at the situation that pains them.
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Sean: My wife used to fart when she was nervous. She had all sorts of wonderful little idiosyncrasies. She used to fart in her sleep. I thought Id share that with you. One night it was so loud it woke the dog up. She woke up and went ah was that you? And I didnt have the heart to tell her. Oh!<br/>Will: She woke herself up?<br/>Sean: Ah..! But Will, shes been dead for 2 years, and that's the shit I remember: wonderful stuff you know? Little things like that. Those are the things I miss the most. The little idiosyncrasies that only I know about: that's what made her my wife. Oh she had the goods on me too, she knew all my little peccadilloes. People call these things imperfections, but there not. Ah, that's the good stuff.<br/><br/>~ Robin Williams as Sean Maguire, Matt Damon as Will Hunting.
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As regards rap music, I believe that the c is silent.
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<br/>Will Hunting: Does this break the patient-doctor code?<br/>Sean Maguire: Only if you grab my ass.
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