What the hell am I doing..? Escape holding myself as a hostage..? I won't be able to make it like that..
funny stupidity humour
Those sweet lips. My, oh my, I could kiss those lips all night long. Good things come to those who wait.
funny humor life wisdom truth youth passion honesty relationships desire romance young-adult sex lust young humour
When I was kidnapped as a child my parents sent a letter to the hijackers me Pay 5,000 dollars or your back
funny humor child humour
Misery, thy name is Mudslide
funny paranormal-romance humour
Honest to God, she was the noisiest woman he'd ever been shot at with.
funny romance romantic-suspense humour
Just leave me alone, I want to be alone, she said when Jack tried to open the car door. She hit the lock, and wound the window up. Since the roof was down, it was a fairly pointless exercise.
funny romance romantic-comedy humour
What sort of look are you going for? Damn, how did he answer this? Somethingnormal, he finally said.
funny romance contemporary-romance humour
I often arrive at quite sensible ideas and judgements, on the spur of the moment. It is when I stop to think that I become foolish.
funny thinking humour
Sadly, however, the sight of her generous D cups no longer sparked an ounce of interest from Little Sam, the man in charge of social activities.
funny romance humour
Excuse me, your attention please. He waited until the whole floor had stopped what it was doing and turned to face him. For a split second his impulse control kicked in, but by then his mouth was fully engaged. For the record, Claire Marsden and I are not having sex.
It kind of struck me how great it would be to go out with a guy that size. And if you, you know, got tired of dating him, you could always use him as a house or something.
funny humor dating humour
Don't make me throw my boot at you, because I will, you grumpy high testosterone driven male
funny random humour
He tends to go for girls who are-Shelby, honey? Put your hands over your ears for just a sec. Back into the phone he said, He likes the real slutty ones. Ow! He yelled when he received a whop to the back of the head.
There was a group of fans who wanted autographs, and several women who managed to write their phone numbers on Wade's hand before he pulled free. Sam sent him an arched brow, but he just shrugged. He got numbers written on him a lot; he'd never figured out how to stop that from happening.
Sketchy black van? Weird stalking of my house? What are you going to do next, offer me some candy?
funny sarcasm stalking humour
The brain can be a dangerous thing. Even more so if you haven't got one.
funny smiling humour
Staring at my smoldering hot date, her husband stands tall for the first time in a decade, adjusting his toupee while flashing a horrid green toothy grin that looks more like a Steven Hawkins muscle spasm. In his hands, a frightened beer bottle is choked with the steel grip of a sexually repressed Preacher.
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Now I know this is going to seem counter to every instinct that you have, but I'm going to ask you to sit still, or I'll put you in the trunk.
funny humour jack
Colon thought Carrot was simple. Carrot often struck people as simple. And he was. Where people went wrong was thinking that simple meant the same thing as stupid.
funny intelligence stupidity humour
101 Reason why its its great to be a woman : Since the advent of feminism, we can publicly ogle male bodies and not be called sexist. If a man indulges in this behavior over a picture of naked woman, he is a sexist pig, and recompense must be demanded for this slight on womankind.
funny feminist woman womanhood humour
What are you doing here?All right, he was standing in front of an easel, holding a paint palette and brush. Taxidermy? He responded with just a touch of his own sarcasm.
I'm not saying he was, like, crying tears of man pain over the phone, but he sounded upset.
funny humor humour
But the purpose of the book is not the horror, it is horror's defeat.
funny fiction neil-gaiman humour
Failed relationships can be described as so much wasted make-up.
women funny relationships humour
Inconvenience in progress, work is regretted.
funny humor man last tower humour
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