But whenever I meet dynamic, nonretarded Americans, I notice that they all seem to share a single unifying characteristic: the inability to experience the kind of mind-blowing, transcendent romantic relationship they perceive to be a normal part of living. And someone needs to take the fall for this. So instead of blaming no one for this (which is kind of cowardly) or blaming everyone (which is kind of meaningless), I'm going to blame John Cusack.
Chuck Klosterman
Don't ever cheat on someone. I'm serious. It's not worth it.... The only thing infidelity does is remind you of the people you're not having sex with, which is something you can just as easily think about when you're completely alone.
worth people sex infidelity thing
I am a marijuana person.
person marijuana
Sometimes I think children are the worst people alive. And even if they're not - even if some smiling toddler is as pure as Evian - it's only a matter of time.. As far as I can tell, the nicest thing you can say about children is that they haven't done anything terrible yet.
people time children smiling pure alive matter worst thing terrible
Small towns usually make sure their places of doom disappear. But that's not the case here: In West Warwick, what used to be a tavern is now an ad hoc cemetery -- which is the role taverns play in most small towns, but not as obviously as this.
places small play west cemetery
ANYWAY, by the time you read this sentence, the song I am referring to will be ten thousand years old.
time song read
I guess what I'm saying is, I'm not your enemy.
enemy
Unless you're Shannon Hoon (of Blind Melon), dying is the only thing that guarantees a rock star will have a legacy that stretches beyond temporary relevance
legacy star blind rock dying thing
Killing Yourself to Live: 85 Percent of a True Story.
live true story killing
Killing Yourself to Live
live killing
It makes me happy.
happy
Though I obviously have no proof of this, the one aspect of life that seems clear to me is that good people do whatever they believe is the right thing to do. Being virtuous is hard, not easy. The idea of doing good things simply because you're good seems like a zero-sum game; I'm not even sure those actions would still qualify as 'good,' since they'd merely be a function of normal behavior. Regardless of what kind of god you believe in--a loving god, a vengeful god, a capricious god, a snooty beret-wearing French god, or whatever--one has to assume that you can't be penalized for doing the things you believe to be truly righteous and just. Certainly, this creates some pretty glaring problems: Hitler may have thought he was serving God. Stalin may have thought he was serving God (or something vaguely similar). I'm certain Osama bin Laden was he was serving God. It's not hard to fathom that all of those maniacs were certain that what they were doing was right. Meanwhile, I do things that I are wrong; they're not on the same scale as incinerating Jews or blowing up skyscrapers, but my motivations might be worse. I have looked directly into the eyes of a woman I loved and told her lies for no reason, except that those lies would allow me to continue having sex with another woman I cared about less. This act did not kill 20 million Russian peasants, but it might be more 'diabolical' in a literal sense. If I died and found out I was going to hell and Stalin was in heaven, I would note the irony, but I couldn't complain. I don't make the fucking rules.
virtues good hell god
funny humor relationships
Anybody who says they are a good liar obviously is not, because any legitimately savvy liar would always insist they're honest about everything.
funny humor lying liar
I once loved a girl who almost loved me, but not as much as she loved John Cusack.
Women intrinsically understand human dynamics, and that makes them unstoppable. Unfortunately, the average man is less adroit at fostering such rivalries, which is why most men remain average; males are better at hating things that can't hate them back (e.g., lawnmowers, cats, the Denver Broncos, et cetera). They don't see the big picture.
funny humor
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