My boat goes west, your's east. Heaven's a wind for both journeys.
wind journeys west boat
My angel, his name is Freedom, Choose him to be your king; He shall cut pathways east and west. And fend you with his wing.
king choose angel freedom west
I have always been fond of the West African proverb: Speak softly and carry a big stick; you will go far.
proverb speak virtue big west african
Circling the mountains the gray clouds go Heavy with storms as a mother with child, Seeking release from their burden of snow With calm slow motion they cross the wild Stately and sombre, they catch and cling To the barren crags of the peaks in the west
clouds mountains mother cross wild child seeking snow calm storms circling burden west heavy
I come from a stupid family. During the civil war my great uncle fought for the west
family war stupid great west
I hear it said that West Berlin is militarily untenable and so was Bastogne, and so, in fact, was Stalingrad. Any danger spot is tenable if men brave men will make it so.
danger men brave fact hear west
The little dictator who went to Moscow in his green fatigues to receive a bear hug did not forsake the doctrine of Lenin when he returned to the West and appeared in a two-piece suit. (On Daniel Ortega Saavedra)
doctrine green west hug bear
I have become a queer mixture of the East and the West, out of place everywhere, at home nowhere.
places home queer place west
In West Virginia yesterday, a man was arrested for stealing several blow-up dolls. Reportedly, police didn't have any trouble catching the man because he was completely out of breath.
trouble man breath stealing police west yesterday americaandamericans
America has the longest prison sentences in the West, yet the only condition long sentences demonstrably cure is heterosexuality.
prison america sex cure west heterosexuality americaandamericans
Do business best when the wind's in the west
business west
(During a trial in which she was accused of indecency on stage)<br/>Judge: 'Miss West, are you trying to show contempt for this court?'<br/>Mae West: 'On the contrary, your Honor, I was doin' my best to conceal it.'
honor trial celebrity court stage contempt west
The West is color. Its colors are animal rather than vegetable, the colors of earth and sunlight and ripeness.
earth color sunlight colors animal west
Hi. You know with everything going down in West Palm Beach, and the holidays right around the corner I couldn't think of a better time to share one of my favorite children's classics, it's called: How the Grinch Stole the Election. And ah--I'd like to read it to you now, shall we?<br/><br/>Every Jew down in Jew-vile liked elections a lot,<br/>But the Grinch who lived over in Austin did not.<br/>I know they'll be voting for Gore, he was thinking,<br/>By Wednesday--the latest--I'll be back to my drinking.<br/>Election Day came and the voting was close,<br/>At one point the Grinch even started to boast,<br/>'It's the Grinch by a nose!' all the newsmen exclaimed,<br/>Even Dan Rather who was clearly insane.<br/>But was he the winner, hey not so fast--<br/>Al Gore called him up and said, Grinch, kiss my ass!<br/>The race was too tight to say who was elected,<br/>The Grinch was so stressed his face got infected.<br/>All eyes turned to Jewville to sort out the mess,<br/>But Hyman and Hershel and dear old Aunt Bess,<br/>Were too senile to vote for the one that they liked,<br/>They poked the wrong hole and joined the Third Reich.<br/>The Jews down in Jewville took to the streets,<br/>To complain about fraud, not to mention the heat.<br/>The Grinch said something that couldn't be gosher,<br/>'This election my friends, is perfectly kosher.'<br/>Then a judge ruled each vote should be counted by hand,<br/>The Grinch said, 'That's not what my brother Jeb had planned.'<br/>His lawyers filed motions and junctions and writs,<br/>Demanding that Gore and the Jews call it quits.<br/>But just when the Grinch thought the deal had gone through,<br/>He met Cindy Lou Lipshitz, age 92.<br/>'Why?' she cried, 'Did you steal our election?'<br/>The Grinch just laughed and gave her a lethal injection.<br/>They say the Grinch's ego grew 3 sizes that day,<br/>Unfortunately his brain went the opposite way.<br/>So here's a lesson for now and for later,<br/>Dont blame me-- I voted for Nader!
funny humor politics comedy race holidays age time ego thought television friends drinking wrong complain classics elections day voting lawyers winner jews blame eyes share judge thinking brain face lesson mess call kiss insane brother hand read election beach streets nose close favorite vote west steal jew heat fraud
The extremes of glory and of shame, Like east and west, become the same No Indian prince has to his palace - More followers than a thief to the gallows
extremes glory courage prince shame indian followers west thief
And death shall have no dominion. <br/>Dead men naked they shall be one<br/>With the man in the wind and the west moon; <br/>When their bones are picked clean and the clean bones gone, <br/>They shall have stars at elbow and foot; <br/>Though they go mad they shall be sane, <br/>Though they sink through the sea they shall rise again; <br/>Though lovers be lost love shall not; <br/>And death shall have no dominion.
clean man men death naked mad wind lost stars moon lovers bones sea love west rise
In much of the West, the well educated have been taught to believe that they can know nothing and that they can draw no independent conclusions about truth, unless they cite a study and experts have affirmed it. Studies show is to the modern secular college graduate what Scripture says is to the religious fundamentalist.
college truth education religious independent scripture study experts modern west secular
Actually, I.. This may sound a little West Texan to you, but I like it. When I'm talking about.. When I'm talking about myself, and when he's talking about myself, all of us are talking about me.
funny sound talking west
I think that's how Chicago got started. A bunch of people in New York said, 'Gee, I'm enjoying the crime and the poverty, but it just isn't cold enough, let's go west.'
funny poverty crime people chicago cold west
I want to thank my friend, Senator Bill Frist, for joining us today. You're doing a heck of a job. You cut your teeth here, right? That's where you started practicing? That's good. He married a Texas girl, I want you to know. Karyn is with us. A West Texas girl, just like me.
funny today good girl friend texas job married teeth west
I was raised in the West. The West of texas. It's pretty close to California. In more ways than Washington, D.C., is close to California.
funny texas california close washington pretty west
And as Americans, we must ask ourselves: Are we really so different? Must we stereotype those who disagree with us? Do we truly believe that ALL red-state residents are ignorant racist fascist knuckle-dragging NASCAR-obsessed cousin-marrying road-kill-eating tobacco-juice-dribbling gun-fondling religious fanatic rednecks; or that ALL blue-state residents are godless unpatriotic pierced-nose Volvo-driving France-loving left-wing Communist latte-sucking tofu-chomping holistic-wacko neurotic vegan weenie perverts? <br/><br/>Yes. This is called diversity, and it is why we are such a great nation - a nation that has given the world both nuclear weapons AND SpongeBob SquarePants.<br/><br/>And so today I am calling upon both sides in the red-blue rift to reach out. Maybe we could have a cultural-exchange program between red and blue states. For example, a delegation from Texas could go to California and show the Californians how to do some traditional Texas thing such as castrate a bull using only your teeth, and then the Californians could show the Texans how to rearrange their football stadiums in accordance with the principles of feng shui (for openers, both goalposts should be at the west end of the field). Or maybe New York and Kentucky could have a college-style mixer, featuring special crossover hors d'oeuvres, such as bagels topped with squirrel parts.
funny politics principles diversity football world religious today end weapons nation special vegan texas americans calling california blue great red teeth ignorant west thing
God forbid that India should ever take to industrialism after the manner of the west.. Keeping the world in chains. If [our nation] took to similar economic exploitation, it would strip the world bare like locusts.
world exploitation india god west
News is that which comes from the North, East, West and South, and if it comes from only one point on the compass, then it is a class publication and not news
information news south class west
She thought of a sunrise over the library slope at Cornell University that nobody out on it had seen because the slope faces west.
thought library irony university sunrise faces west
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