All zoos actually offer to the public in return for the taxes spent upon them is a form of idle and witless amusement, compared to which a visit to a penitentiary, or even to a State legislature in session, is informing, stimulating and ennobling.
H.L. Mencken
Communism, like any other revealed religion, is largely made up of prophecies.
religion communism made
We must respect the other fellow's religion, but only in the sense and to the extent that we respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart.
smart religion sense children beautiful respect wife theory selfrespect
The chief value of money lies in the fact that one lives in a world in which it is overestimated.
money lies world lives fact
taxes public amusement offer state return form
To die for an idea it is unquestionably noble. But how much nobler it would be if men died for ideas that were true
idea men true ideas noble die
The government consists of a gang of men exactly like you and me. They have, taking one with another, no special talent for the business of government they have only a talent for getting and holding office.
talent government men business special
The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace in a continual state of alarm (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing them with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.
politics war practical safety state imaginary series
A home is not a mere transient shelter its essence lies in the personalities of the people who live in it.
people home live lies essence personalities
A celebrity is one who is known to many persons he is glad he doesn't know.
celebrity
JUDGE, n A law student who marks his own papers.
law judge student
Imagine the Creator as a stand up commedian - and at once the world becomes explicable.
world imagine stand creator
The penalty for laughing in a courtroom is six months in jail if it were not for this penalty, the jury would never hear the evidence.
laughing jail hear evidence
Conscience is the inner voice that warns us somebody may be looking.
conscience voice
For every human problem, there is a neat, simple solution and it is always wrong
human problem wrong simple solution
Unquestionably, there is progress. The average American now pays out twice as much in taxes as he formerly got in wages.
progress age taxes american
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