Everybody's crooked. The trick is to find out how they're bent.
Jennifer Crusie
When Eve ate the apple her knowledge increased. But God liked dumb women so Paradise ceased. Gwen Goodnight. Her Work.
funny feminist
His sentences didn't seem to have any verbs, which was par for a politician. All nouns, no action.
funny humor politics grammar
You want sensitive and understanding, stick with the therapist. You want great, headbanging sex, get off the fucking phone and come with me.
funny humor seduction
Heartache often drives us to consume things we wouldn't otherwise, such as an entire pint of Caramel Pecan Perfection high-fat ice cream, covered in ganache, the crack cocaine of frozed dairy. Twelve hundred calories per pint, six hundred and eighty of which are fat calories, but is only dulls the pain for the moment, there's that carb fog while you're standing at the sink shoving it in your face, and then it's over and you feel.. Used. Like a cheap pickup the Dove people seduced and abandoned in your kitchen, leaving you with sticky hands and an empty cup and a still-broken heart, except now you're mad at Dove, too.
funny humor heartache
Of course it hurt you neanderthal! See that? Thats blood. If theres blood, theres pain. Its like smoke and fire.
funny pain humour
Nothing but good times ahead.
funny humor inspirational
Nobody in my life has ever known me the way you do. Nobody in my life has ever made me feel as good as you do. You know me, you know everything about me, and when you leave me, you're going to be leaving the real me, the me nobody else has ever seen, that's who you're going to be rejecting.
He loved her all he could; but he couldn't love her very much.
funny humor romance
You've lived in America for twenty years. Eat badly, damn it.
america obesity
Feel no guilt. Getting married and giving birth does not mean that you have sold your life away to perfectly healthy people who can get their own damn socks.
marriage guilt children
He was not looking forward to breaking the law. He was straight now. He'd matured. Crime no longer excited him. What?' Ronald said.I didn't say anything.'You're breathing heavy.
funny humor crime
As far as I'm concerned the last good man went when Elvis died.
men
You have to open up to the world and learn optimism.. Contentment with the past, happiness with the present, and hope for the future. Learned optimisim.
optimism contentment positive-thinking
I'll never forget my first time with you' Min said as she edged the doughnut off her finger. 'The earth moved, and then my mother asked my father who he was going down on at lunch.
funny humor sex
contemporary-romance
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