A man can sleep around, no questions asked, but if a woman makes nineteen or twenty mistakes she's a tramp.
If God wanted us to bend over he'd put diamonds on the floor.
Our natures are a lot like oil, mix us with anything else, and we strive to swim on top.
The first time I see a jogger smiling, I'll consider it.
Anger is a symptom, a way of cloaking and expressing feelings too awful to experience directly hurt, bitterness, grief and, most of all, fear.
Don't follow any advice, no matter how good, until you feel as deeply in your spirit as you think in your mind that the counsel is wise.
Dont talk to me about Valentines Day. At my age an affair of the heart is a bypass!
You make the beds, you do the dishes, and six months later you have to start all over again
My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on.
I don't excercise. If God had wanted me to bend over, he would have put diamonds on the floor.
Is Elizabeth Taylor fat? Her favorite food is seconds.
Is she fat? Her favorite food is seconds
I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was 'the man goes on top and the woman underneath.' For three years my husband and I slept in bunk beds.
I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio.
Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is God's gift, that's why we call it the present.
I have become my own version of an optimist. If I can't make it through one door, I'll go through another door - or I'll make a door. Something terrific will come no matter how dark the present.
I have no methods; all I do is accept people as they are.
Before we make love my husband takes a pain killer.
He who limps is still walking.
I wish I had a twin, so I could know what I'd look like without plastic surgery.
You make the beds, you wash the dishes, and six months later you have to start all over again
It's been so long since I've had sex I've forgotten who ties up whom.
I can't like watching Project Runway with Heidi Klum. There's just something wrong about a German woman saying who goes and who stays
She doesn't understand the concept of Roman numerals. She thought we just fought in world war eleven.
It's been so long since I made love I can't even remember who gets tied up.