There's an inverse relationship between my temper and my ability to control my accent. If you hear me say 'Fiddledeedee', run for the hills, because I'm getting ready to take out bystanders.
Molly Harper
Mama operated under the assumption that I was eight years old and incapable of feeding myself. It was physically impossible for her to cross my threshold without some form of nourishment. She once offered me cheese and crackers from her while we were standing
funny food jane-jameson
I don't care what tomorrow brings, as long as I have you.
future tomorrow
I would have taken Zeb, purely for entertainment value, but he had an actual date, with a real girl. That hadn't happened in a while, so I was a good friend and put my own needs second to the possibility of him actual sex with a real girl.
funny sex jane-jameson
Some vampires wouldn't react if you shoved a rosary down their pants, though I wouldn't recommend testing the theory.
funny vampire jane-jameson
I am not the kind of girl who trusts a man to tell her everything she needs to know in his own due time, so I did some research on my sire. You can take the girl out of the library, but you can't take the neurotic, compulsively curious librarian out of the girl.
vampire vampire-romance librarian jane-jameson
The scent of growth, quiet and green, hung heavy in the air. I heard everything. I saw everything. I could count the craters on the moon. I could count every mosquito buzz past, bypassing my tender skin out of respect for a fellow bloodsucker.
funny humor vampire
Zeb was kindergarten teacher--a good one. I always thought it was because he was the same emotional age as his students.
funny maturity jane-jameson
Maybe the problem was that we never struggled. We just coasted along. The thing about coasting is that it usually means you're going downhill.
common-sense
I was shameless in my supermarket-shelf mass-market taste. I loved King, Evanovich, Grisham and Brown. I won't lie; the oficial-looking filing cabinet in the corner is actually stuffed full of my paperbacks.
funny-and-random
Are you going to answer my questions, or do I have to whack you with a stick until delicious candy surprises fall out?
funny questions surprises jane-jameson
The brain may die, but my compulsion for useless trivia lives on.
vampire-romance undead jane-jameson
Trivia monologue. You are so the man for me.
vampire-romance librarian jane-jameson
Contrary to popular myth, werewolves myth, werewolves are born, not made. No matter how many times they bite someone, that person will not turn, though they will probably bleed profusely and will definitely be annoyed.
werewolves jane-jameson
funny humor werewolf
Instead of celebrating with a cake (too full of poisonous refined sugars) and presents (too materialistic), my mother would come into my room at exactly 3: 57 A.M. To tell me the story of my miraculous emergence into this world, as if it was some fairy tale. Although I supposed few fairy tales involved the words 'vaginal flowering'.
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