Now, this is where I draw the line! It's bad enough everybody in town's going to be thinkin' I'm sleeping with a depressed, lice-ridden, hemorrhoidal foreigner who likes to be tied up and might be pregnant, although-since she's just about cornered the market on condoms-I don't know how that could have happened. But I will not-you listen to me, Emma!-I absolutely will not have anybody thinkin' a woman of mine needs a vaginal moisturizer, do you hear me?
Susan Elizabeth Phillips
When male authors write love stories, the heroine tends to end up dead.
stories author writers authors end write male dead heroine love books
I guess we're oil and water. (Phoebe)I'd say we're more like gasoline and a blowtorch. (Dan)
funny cute
You couldn't be satisfied with being an amateur asshole, could you, Jimbo! You had to go and turn pro on me!
funny humor police
I happen to be immature, undisciplined, and self-centered, pretty much a little boy in a man's body, although I'd appreciate it if you didn't quote me on that.-Bobby Tom
funny humor men
Why don't I just hand you my panties and be done with it.
funny humor
Sometimes knowing when to give up is the real test of character..-annabelle granger
inspiration
Dallas, is it remotely possible for you to carry on a conversation that's not loaded down with manure?
lies conversation
I finally figured out that not every crisis can be managed. As much as we want to keep ourselves safe, we can't protect ourselves from everything. If we want to embrace life, we also have to embrace chaos.
protection life chaos crisis safety
You're beautiful, every part of you. I love your hair, the way it looks, the way it feels. I love touching it, smelling it. I love the way you wrinkle your nose when you laugh. It makes me laugh, too, every time. And I love watching you eat. Sometimes you can't shovel it in fast enough, but when you get interested in a conversation, you forget there's anything in front of you. God knows, I love making love with you. I can't even talk about that without wanting you. I love your pathetic attachment to those seniors. I love how hard you work.
And no matter what anybody says, I don't believe all this trouble started when women got the vote. As far as I'm concerned, it goddamn well got started when you taught each other how to read.
women reading trouble read vote
comedy romance contemporary
He grinned, and right then it occurred to him that he hadn't enjoyed himself so much with a woman in a very long time. If Annabelle Granger were a few inches taller, a hell of a lot more sophisticated, better organized, less bossy, and more inclined to worship at his feet, she'd have made a perfect wife.
funny humor romance arrogance
[Bobby Tom] finally understood Gracie's function in his life. She was God's joke on him.
funny humor romance
She's as plastic as you are! I'm telling you, it's a bad idea. If the two of you have kids, they'll come out of the birth canal with Fisherprice stamped on their butts!
As far as I'm concerned, men like you were put on this world to entertain women like me.
women men entertainment
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