It was said that life was cheap in Ankh-Morpork. This was of course, completely wrong. Life was often very expensive; you could get death for free.
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Colon thought Carrot was simple. Carrot often struck people as simple. And he was. Where people went wrong was thinking that simple meant the same thing as stupid.
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But the purpose of the book is not the horror, it is horror's defeat.
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Historical Re-creation, he thought glumly, as they picked their way across, under, over or through the boulders and insect-buzzing heaps of splintered timber, with streamlets running everywhere. Only we do it with people dressing up and running around with blunt weapons, and people selling hot dogs, and the girls all miserable because they can only dress up as wenches, wenching being the only job available to women in the olden days.
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I'd rather be a rising ape than a falling angel.
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Everywhere's been where it is ever since it was first put there. It's called geography.
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We're on a mission from Glod.
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The universe is, instant by instant, recreated anew. There is in truth no past, only a memory of the past. Blink your eyes, and the world you see next did not exist when you closed them. Therefore, the only appropriate state of the mind is surprise. The only appropriate state of the heart is joy. The sky you see now, you have never seen before. The perfect moment is now. Be glad of it.
If complete and utter chaos was lightning, then he'd be the sort to stand on a hilltop in a thunderstorm wearing wet copper armour and shouting 'All gods are bastards!
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Over the centuries, mankind has tried many ways of combating the forces of evil.. Prayer, fasting, good works and so on. Up until Doom, no one seemed to have thought about the double-barrel shotgun. Eat leaden death, demon..
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The Captain of the Watch says if you're still in the City by sunrise he will personally have you buried alive.
Letitia! What a name. Halfway between a salad and a sneeze.
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You do know you could find yourself charged with being a dominant species while under the influence of impulse-driven consumerism, don't you?
Igor?' said Moist. 'You have an Igor?'Oh, yes,' said Hubert. 'That's how I get this wonderful light. They know the secret of storing lightning in jars! But don't let that worry you, Mr Lipspick. Just because I'm employing an Igor and working in a cellar doesn't mean I'm some sort of madman, ha ha ha!'Ha ha,' agreed Moist. Ha hah hah,' said Hubert. 'Hahahahahaha! Ahahahahahahhhhh!-'Bent slapped him on the back. Hubert coughed. Sorry about that, it's the air down here,' he mumbled.
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They were small, brightly coloured, happy little creatures who secreted some of the nastiest toxins in the world, which is why the job of looking after the large vivarium where they happily passed their days was given to first-year students, on the basis that if they got things wrong there wouldn't be too much education wasted.