Sometimes you just have to put on lip gloss and pretend to be psyched.
humor-inspirational
Words are wind.
Never trust a man with a penis.
funny humor humor-inspirational
Parents always make their worst mistakes with their oldest children. That's when parents know the least and care the most, so they're more likely to be wrong and also more likely to insist that they're right.
Dreams come true all the time, just not for the dreamers
If laughter is the best medicine, let's OD together.
funny humor humor-inspirational humorous-quotations
The process of learning is a nonstop orgy of wonderment.
More often than not, if a person is wearing a smile, there is a victim attached somewhere.
funny humor humor-inspirational paranoia
I'll probably never fully become what I wanted to be when I grew up, but that's probably because I wanted to be a ninja princess.
Life is like the stock market. Some days you're up. Some days you're down. And some days you feel like something the bull left behind.
If someone wanted to have a grudge against me, or didn't agree with my lifestyle, the way I breathed, the space I took up on this planet, they had an open door to 'report' to the powers that be.
life-lesson humor-inspirational
I'm not mean, I just give people a good reason to hate me
I decided to irritate him, on the premise that it couldn't make my situation any worse.
A cause may be inconvenient, but it's magnificent. It's like champagne or high heels, and one must be prepared to suffer for it.
Dad, one of my first memories is of sharing my worry with you about the space shuttle poking holes in the atmosphere and letting out all of Earth's air.
You can spend a lot of time trying to figure out how men think, and you'll always be wrong. That's because they're so much simpler than we are. They don't think half the time. They just want what they want and then go for it.
They said you can't go to the moon. They said you can't put cheese inside a pizza crust, but NASA did it. They had to, because the cheese kept floating off in space.
funny humor inspirational humor-inspirational
Only a genius can overlook the chaos
There are no menial jobs, only menial attitudes.
inspirational humor-inspirational
I'm just like anyone. I cut and I bleed. And I embarass easily - Michael Jackson
They're hungry for something they know nothing about, but we, we know all too well that the price of fame is the loss of privacy.
You go Picasso!
Where there is a will to conquer a man, there is a way to conquer a man.
I am the Olympics.
If I behave like a good boy and take my Prozac.. Then I won't be able to write anymore. I'll have Writer's block from not being able to communicate with the characters in my mind.
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