Life is a great big canvas; throw all tje paint you can at it.
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I want to write my own eulogy, and I want to write it in Latin. It seems only fitting to read a dead language at my funeral.
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I want my kids to have the things in life that I never had when I was growing up. Things like beards and chest hair.
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Just to keep the bad dreams at bay, she took a swig out of a bottle that smelled of apples and happy brain-death.
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In my book an erection constitutes personal growth.
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I'm half good and I'm half bad. My mama is a very good girl and my daddy is a very bad boy. And I guess that leaves me somewhere sort of...here.
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Tell them I have the headache--no, the plague! I need something nice and contagious.
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Praise can be your most valuable asset as long as you don't aim it at yourself.
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Actually, watching television and surfing the Internet are really excellent practice for being dead.
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Never make an important decision with your pants down.
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Only love will attract love.~ Amunhotep El Bey
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Wow, says Peter, when your guidance counselor tells you to die, you really have problems.
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Pardon me Mam,I'm new in town, could you please show me the way to your house?
Some people make things happen. Some people watch things happen. And then there are those who wonder, 'What the hell just happened?
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Smoking will probably kill me, but so will natural selection.
