I would rather be strong at heart than strong at mind
random
My mom gave me life, so I gave her batteries. AA batteries.
mom life random
Luck is not as random as you think. Before that lottery ticket won the jackpot, someone had to buy it.
chance fortune luck randomness inspire random winning win lucky
No snowflake in an avalanche ever feels responsible
It's just.. You know
Now you got us whammied with the curse of squirmy death.
funny humor random
You should never put the new antlers of a deer to your nose and smell them. They have little insects that crawl into the nose and devour the brain.
You are who you are, when NO ONE is LOOKING
Nothing says work efficiency like panic mode.
funny humor writing work procrastination random editing panic efficiency
I will never fit in becauseI wasn't meant to
funny random
Tried to escape, to block out the fact that I was being eaten alive by arachnids. For some reason the only thing I could replace it with was the image of being eaten by tiny clowns.
Lying in bed with Johnny Depp sussing out which males are what kind of pet from their clothes.
funny random boys
If you fall, I'll be the there
funny random fall
I said 'I'm sorry, sir, but we don't speak Swedish.''Well, of course you don't. Neither do I. Who the hell speaks Swedish?
You should have seen the costumes for the last few prom themes: Pimps and their srteet ho's; CEOs and their office ho's; GI Joes and their combat ho's; Gardeners and their garden hose; Firemen and their fire hose.. If you ask me, a 'masquerade' theme isn't flattering for anyones features, nor does it define the apppropriate gender roles very clearly.
funny random nightlight
You can tell he's mexican because of his chinese eyes.
I can grow a pair.
I believe life is an intelligent thing that things aren't random!
life random intelligent
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