I think we dream so we don't have to be apart so long. If we're in each other's dreams, we can be together all the time.
Calvin
dreams time dream
Some days even my lucky rocketship underpants won't help.
funny days lucky
People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don't realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world.
funny people genius fun world hard realize idiots
Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.
funny life universe intelligent sign
Girls are like slugs. They serve some purpose but it's hard to imagine what.
funny purpose girls imagine serve hard
Don't walk away! I'm trying to apologize you dumb noodleloaf!
funny walk dumb
Well, remember what you said, because in a day or two, I'll have a witty and blistering retort! You'll be devastated THEN!
revenge remember day witty
- I've been thinking Hobbes --<br/>- On a weekend?<br/>- Well, it wasn't on purpose..
purpose thought thinking hobbes
Dad, how do soldiers killing each other solve the world's problems?
dad war world problems killing soldiers
County library? Reference desk, please. Hello? Yes, I need a word definition. Well, that's the problem. I don't know how to spell it and I'm not allowed to say it. Could you just rattle off all the swear words you know and I'll stop you when.. Hello?
problem definition words library word stop
We're so busy watching out for what's just ahead of us that we don't take time to enjoy where we are.
time enjoy busy
-You can't just turn on creativity like a faucet. You have to be in the right mood. <br/>-What mood is that? <br/>-Last-minute panic.
creativity panic mood
Life's disappointments are harder to take when you don't know any swear words.
words
Who was the first guy that look at a cow and said, I think that I'll drink whatever comes out of those things when I squeeze them?
things drink guy
What fun is it being cool if you can't wear a sombrero
fun cool
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