At first, I could lie about my lack of sleep and she'd fall for it, but she started suspecting insomnia when I began seeing purple elephants in the air vents at the office. I knew I shouldn't have asked her about them. I thought maybe she'd redecorated.
Darynda Jones
You know you have ADD when Look A chicken - T-shirt
funny humor
Never knock on death's door. Ring the doorbell then run. He totally hates that. - T-shirt
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I may not look like much, but I'm an expert at pretending to be a ninja.
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Sorry. I just can't seem to help myself. My brain is freaking out. Two predawn mornings in a row. It doesn't know what to think, how to act. I'll have a talk with it later. Perhaps get it some counseling.
There is a great need for a sarcasm font.
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I sort of got off on making bad guys sweat. Which was not unlike my love of making good guys sweat, just by very different means.
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He had threatened my parents. I had to remember that. Still, it was really hard to stay mad at a wounded naked man.
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You rented the apartment with a dead guy in the corner? I shrugged. I wanted the apartment, and I figured I could cover him up with a bookcase or something.
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I like to see the glass as half full, hopefully of jack daniels.
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Never trust a man with a penis.
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After a geological epoch passed in which single-celled organisms evolved into talk show hosts, Mr. Coffee was still holding out on me.
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His gaze slid over me like a veil of fire. He could ignite my deepest desires with a single glance. I decided right then and there no more reading romance novels by candelight.
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Who knew Demon Child would have such a normal name? I expected something exotic like Serena or Destiny or the Evil One That Comes in the Night to Make Us Chilly.
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