Fish is the only food that is considered spoiled once it smells like what it is.
P. J. O'Rourke
Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.
car key money age government power boys giving teenage
The mystery of government is not how Washington works but how to make it stop.
mystery work government works stop washington
Whatever it is that the government does, sensible Americans would prefer that the government do it to somebody else. This is the idea behind foreign policy.
idea government americans
Politicians are interested in people. Not that it is always a virtue. Fleas are interested in dogs.
people dogs virtue politicians
Every government is a parliament of whores. The trouble is, in a democracy, the whores are us.
trouble government democracy whores
The Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter, taller, richer, and remove the crabgrass on your lawn. The Republicans are the party that says government doesn't work and then they get elected and prove it.
work government democracy party republicans democrats
A little government and a little luck are necessary in life, but only a fool trusts either of them.
life luck government fool
Skiing consists of wearing 3,000 worth of clothes and equipment and driving 200 miles in the snow in order to stand around at a bar and drink.
worth order stand drink snow clothes skiing driving
food fish
With Epcot Center the Disney corporation has accomplished something I didn't think possible in today's world. They have created a land of make-believe that's worse than regular life.
life world disney land worse
Humans are the only animals that have children on purpose with the exception of guppies, who like to eat theirs.
purpose children humans animals eat
Very little is known of the Canadian country since it is rarely visited by anyone but the Queen and illiterate sport fishermen.
country sport canadian queen
Never fight an inanimate object.
fight
A hat should be taken off when you greet a lady and left off for the rest of your life. Nothing looks more stupid than a hat.
life rest lady stupid left
Making fun of born-again Christians is like hunting dairy cows with a high powered rifle and scope.
fun christians hunting cows
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