It took me fifteen years to discover that I had no talent for writing, but I couldn't give it up because by that time I was too famous.
For a nation which has an almost evil reputation for bustle, bustle, bustle, and rush, rush, rush, we spend an enormous amount of time standing around in line in front of windows, just waiting.
Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he is supposed to be doing at the moment.
Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with, that it's compounding a felony.
A boy can learn a lot from a dog obedience, loyalty, and the importance of turning around three times before lying down.
There are two kinds of people in the world, those who believe there are two kinds of people in the world and those who don't.
I can't bring myself to say, 'Well, I guess I'll be toddling along.' It isn't that I can't toddle. It's just that I can't guess I'll toddle.
Perfectly Scandalous was one of those plays in which all of the actors unfortunately enunciated very clearly
Death ends a life, not a relationship.
A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down.
Dachshunds are ideal dogs for small children, as they are already stretched and pulled to such a length that the child cannot do much harm one way or the other.
Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people
Behind every argument is someone's ignorance.
There are two kinds of people in this world - those who divide everything into two and those who don't
Even nowadays a man can't step up and kill a woman without feeling just a bit unchivalrous...