Bill Bailey Quotes

Do not crush the flowers of wisdom with the hobnail boots of cynicism.

cynicism tso-life wisdom

It's not a beard, it's an animal I've trained to sit very still.

Add a drop of lavender to milk, leave town with an orange, and pretend you're laughing at it.

He very kindly let me set up so I could start communicating back to the insurance companies. The more I had contact with George, got to know him better, the more I realized this is a very wise man. He's been around a long time.

Essentially zero. DuPont sees what we're doing as the right thing to do.

A lot of people say there's a fine line between genius and insanity. I don't think there's a fine line, I actually think there's a yawning gulf. You see some poor bugger scuffling up the road with balloons tied to his ears, he's not going home to invent a rocket, is he?

comedian home humour is-it-bill-bailey people tso-funny tv

It's the augmented fourth, or diminished fifth, depending on your outlook on life...

tso-life

Aldous Huxley took the drug mescaline and then chronicled his experience in the book The Doors of Perception. Now, I don't actually think that's the first thing he wrote: he probably wrote 'my brain is melting' ten thousand times, but it was the book that the critics latched on to.

door experience perception thetimes time

This is a song inspired by the work of Phil Collins; the nasty, whining little git. Ch. 36, 1:18:46

work

I would never condone the burning of a Dan Brown novel, much though I loathe and detest his work. Well, I say work, you know, words, randomly arranged to form millions of dollars... I'm not bitter at all...

work

Tonight's show is about doubt. Or maybe it isn't - haven't made my mind up yet.

doubt mind

BB: I'm actually from the West Country... BB: Hypnotized, or actually? What are you doing here? Audience member: I had to come. BB: What do you mean you had to come here? What, you were on some dark purpose? Ch. 4, 07:38

purpose

It's always been my long-held belief that eventually insects will take over the world.

belief