Spring is nature's way of saying, Let's party!
Carpe per diem seize the check.
The Russians love Brooke Shield because her eyebrows remind them of Leonid Brezhnev.
You're only given a little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it.
Men wearing pants so tight that you can tell what religion they are.
See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time.
Ah, yes, divorce ... from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet.
Cricket is basically baseball on valium.
God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time.
God gave us a penis and a brain, but not enough blood to use both at the same time
Politics: Poli a Latin word meaning many; and tics meaning bloodsucking creatures.
Freud: If its not one thing, its your mother.
Reality is just a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs.
Cocaine is God's way of telling you you are making too much money.
Cricket is baseball on Valium.