Hi. You know with everything going down in West Palm Beach, and the holidays right around the corner I couldn't think of a better time to share one of my favorite children's classics, it's called: How the Grinch Stole the Election. And ah--I'd like to read it to you now, shall we?<br/><br/>Every Jew down in Jew-vile liked elections a lot,<br/>But the Grinch who lived over in Austin did not.<br/>I know they'll be voting for Gore, he was thinking,<br/>By Wednesday--the latest--I'll be back to my drinking.<br/>Election Day came and the voting was close,<br/>At one point the Grinch even started to boast,<br/>'It's the Grinch by a nose!' all the newsmen exclaimed,<br/>Even Dan Rather who was clearly insane.<br/>But was he the winner, hey not so fast--<br/>Al Gore called him up and said, Grinch, kiss my ass!<br/>The race was too tight to say who was elected,<br/>The Grinch was so stressed his face got infected.<br/>All eyes turned to Jewville to sort out the mess,<br/>But Hyman and Hershel and dear old Aunt Bess,<br/>Were too senile to vote for the one that they liked,<br/>They poked the wrong hole and joined the Third Reich.<br/>The Jews down in Jewville took to the streets,<br/>To complain about fraud, not to mention the heat.<br/>The Grinch said something that couldn't be gosher,<br/>'This election my friends, is perfectly kosher.'<br/>Then a judge ruled each vote should be counted by hand,<br/>The Grinch said, 'That's not what my brother Jeb had planned.'<br/>His lawyers filed motions and junctions and writs,<br/>Demanding that Gore and the Jews call it quits.<br/>But just when the Grinch thought the deal had gone through,<br/>He met Cindy Lou Lipshitz, age 92.<br/>'Why?' she cried, 'Did you steal our election?'<br/>The Grinch just laughed and gave her a lethal injection.<br/>They say the Grinch's ego grew 3 sizes that day,<br/>Unfortunately his brain went the opposite way.<br/>So here's a lesson for now and for later,<br/>Dont blame me-- I voted for Nader!
funny humor politics comedy race holidays age time ego thought television friends drinking wrong complain classics elections day voting lawyers winner jews blame eyes share judge thinking brain face lesson mess call kiss insane brother hand read election beach streets nose close favorite vote west steal jew heat fraud
The only way I can make a Jim Carrey face is through Novocain at the dentists office.
funny humor comedy face
My comfort is, that old age, that ill layer-up of beauty, can do no more spoil upon my face
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A competent portraitist knows how to imply the profile in the full face.
face competence
We bet the company on Windows and we deserve to benefit. It was a risk that's paid off immensely. In retrospect, committing to the graphics interface seems so obvious that now it's hard to keep a straight face.
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You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience by which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, 'I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.
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The sparks fly in his face.
sparks face fly consequences
Conviction brings a silent, indefinable beauty into faces made of the commonest human clay; the devout worshiper at any shrine reflects something of its golden glow, even as the glory of a noble love shines like a sort of light from a woman's face
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No politician has ever yet been able to rule his country, nor has any country ever yet been able to face the world, upon the principles of the Sermon on the Mount.
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Have the courage to say no. Have the courage to face the truth. Do the right thing because it is right. These are the magic keys to living your life with integrity.
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I threw love at the wall and it bounced back and slapped me in the face.
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I may be compelled to face danger, but never fear it, and while our soldiers can stand and fight, I can stand and feed and nurse them.
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Get back here, Potter! I want to see your face when I kill you! I want to see the light leave your eyes!
death light evil murder eyes leave face kill
. Almost everything all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.
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Death (or its allusion) makes men precious and pathetic. They are moving because of their phantom condition; every act they execute may be their last; there is not a face that is not on the verge of dissolving like a face in a dream.
men death dream moving face act precious
Sometimes reality has a way of sneaking up and biting us in the ass. And when the dam bursts, all you can do is swim. The world of pretend is a cage, not a cocoon. We can only lie to ourselves for so long. We are tired, we are scared, denying it doesn't change the truth. Sooner or later we have to put aside our denial and face the world. Head on, guns blazing. De Nile. It's not just a river in Egypt, it's a freakin' ocean. So how do you keep from drowning in it?
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I start to feel like I cant maintain the facade any longer, that I may just start to show through. And I wish I knew what was wrong. Maybe something about how stupid my whole life is. I dont know. Why does the rest of the world put up with the hypocrisy, the need to put a happy face on sorrow, the need to keep on keeping on?.. I dont know the answer, I know only that I cant. I don't want any more vicissitudes, I don't want any more of this try, try again stuff. I just want out. Ive had it. I am so tired. I am twenty and I am already exhausted.
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I often laugh at Satan, and there is nothing that makes him so angry as when I attack him to his face, and tell him that through God I am more than a match for him
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Somehow our devils are never quite what we expect when we meet them face to face.
devil face
Face your fears and doubts, and new worlds will open to you.
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If we go on the way we have, the fault is our greed [and] if we are not willing [to change], we will disappear from the face of the globe, to be replaced by the insect.
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Enough scraps and rocks and countries are conveniently distributed across the face of the earth so that the sun still always shines on something British.
earth sun face british
Nothing in the world can be compared to the human face. It is a land one can never tire of exploring. There is no greater experience in a studio than to witness the expression of a sensitive face under the mysterious power of inspiration. To see it animated from inside, and turning into poetry.
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Shall I tell you what the real evil is? To cringe to the things that are called evils, to surrender to them our freedom, in defiance of which we ought to face any suffering.
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When we forgive evil we do not excuse it, we do not tolerate it, we do not smother it. We look the evil full in the face, call it what it is, let its horror shock and stun and enrage us, and only then do we forgive it.
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