[Like they say,] small world, but I wouldn't want to paint it.
humorous
Sell your book like a can of beans
humorous marketing
If you have more cavities than you have teeth you've led a 'Sweet' life.
Don't that make your bosom plim?
He pulled out a dagger from.. She wasn't sure where. Did he have that in his loin cloth? What else does he have in there? (Amy's thoughts, The Witching Pen)
funny humor humorous paranormal-romance
(About a cookbook..)- What about this one? Maids of Honor?- Weeelll, they starts OUT as Maids of Honor.. But they ends up Tarts.
funny humor satire humorous wit witty funny-and-random
The news that Daisy Miller was surrounded by half a dozen wonderful mustaches checked Winterbourne's impulse to go straightway to see her.
Poisons are more my thing
Real life.. Witches: Wiccan practitioners. Werewolves: rare strain of rabies. Zombies: Prions/Plague. Vampires: Hemophilia/Porphyria
real-life satire humorous monsters solange halloween
My question was: How did I go from merely seeing the dirty French Santa in a bar to being in his hotel room the next morning? And this presented me with an actual equation. How did one plus one equal old French Santa?
My medication must be wearing off I'm starting to think my jokes are funny.
He was staring hard, not at his wife and me but at his daughter watching us. In his cold pupil, in the firm twist of his lips, was reflected Madame Miyagi's orgasm reflected in her daughter's gaze.
humorous erotic
There is no god but Road Runner and Chuck Jones is his prophet.
Well, Ben says you have to be married to get a girl pregnant. And me and Cindy are not married, so she couldn't get pregnant, see?
Sorry about your bad luck.
Her Majesty to the theatre. The performance took place on a stage erected in the courtyard, and Her Majesty closed in one part of her veranda for the use of the guests and Court ladies. During the performance I began to feel very drowsy, and eventually fell fast asleep leaning against one of the pillars. I awoke rather suddenly to find that something had been dropped into my mouth, but on investigation I found it was nothing worse than a piece of candy, which I immediately proceeded to eat. On approaching Her Majesty, she asked me how I had enjoyed the candy, and told me not to sleep, but to have a good time like the rest. I never saw Her Majesty in better humor. She played with us just like a young girl, and one could hardly recognize in her the severe Empress Dowager we knew her to be.
historical humorous
When I get to Heaven I just know I'm going to forget my toothbrush.
Three eggs two slices of toast a cup of coffee an episode of Mr. Ed. A Violin and a bowl of fruit what else does a man need?
Lunar Eclipse doesn't that sound like a car you can only drive at night?
If I could out run the Angel of Death I'd probably die from lack of breath!
By the time he was done with the deer it had been dark three hours and his bad leg was singing 'Ave Maria'.
Hope was like frogs praying for wings so they didn't bump their asses when they hopped
Never can tell when you might come on somebody needs skinning.
Livvy and me together in an elevator for four hours. And we're good. To some eyes the fact that we're both alive could be viewed as a minor miracle.
You know I hate to chase. I'm only here to talk, but if you run, I'll have to chase and we both know where that usually ends up.
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