A child develops individuality long before he develops taste. I have seen my kid straggle into the kitchen in the morning with outfits that need only one accessory an empty gin bottle.
individuality morning child taste empty kitchen gin
He will be with you also, all the way, that faithful God. Every morning when you awaken to the old and tolerable pain, at every mile of the hot uphill dusty road of tiring duty, on to the judgment seat, the same Christ there as ever, still loving you, sti
pain duty faith christ loving judgment road morning hot god
In these times you have to be an optimist to open your eyes when you awake in the morning.
thetimes time society morning eyes times open
It seems a long time since the morning mail could be called correspondence.
thetimes time society morning correspondence mail
I woke up one morning and looked around the room. Something wasn't right. I realized that someone had broken in the night before and replaced everything in my apartment with an exact replica. I couldn't believe it..I got my roommate and showed him. I said, Look at thiseverything's been replaced with an exact replica! He said, Do I know you?
funny humor night morning broken
These flowers, which were splendid and sprightly, waking in the dawn of the morning, in the evening will be a pitiful frivolity, sleeping in the cold night's arms.
dawn morning sleeping flowers waking cold arms evening
Who will tell whether one happy moment of love or the joy of breathing or walking on a bright morning and smelling the fresh air, is not worth all the suffering and effort which life implies.
effort worth life moment walking suffering happy bright joy morning air breathing fresh love
I got up one morning and couldn't find my socks, so I called Information. She said, Hello, Information. I said, I can't find my socks. She said, They're behind the couch. And they were!
funny humor information morning find
I got myself good this morning too. I did my push ups in the nude.. But I didn't see the mouse trap.
funny humor good morning
True terror is to wake up one morning and discover that your high school class is running the country.
age true running school terror morning class discover country wake
Just in terms of allocation of time resources, religion is not very efficient. There's a lot more I could be doing on a Sunday morning.
poetry thetimes time religion morning
If one morning I walked on top of the water across the Potomac River, the headline that afternoon would read: President Can't Swim.
business president morning water river read afternoon
I went to see my doctor. Doctor, every morning when I get up and look in the mirror... I feel like throwing up. What's wrong with me? He said, I don't know but your eyesight is perfect.
funny humor wrong perfect feel morning mirror doctor
The great secret of doctors, known only to their wives, but still hidden from the public, is that most things get better by themselves; most things, in fact, are better in the morning.
the-public religion secret morning public hidden doctors things fact great wives
Nicky I think in all fairness, I should explain to you exactly what it is that I do. For instance tomorrow morning ill get up nice and early, take a walk down over to the bank and.. Walk in and see and uh.. If you don't have my money for me, I'll.. Crack your f***in' head wideopen in front of everybody in the bank. And just about the time I'm comin' out of jail, hopefully, you'll be coming out of your coma. And guess what I'll split your f***in' head open again. 'Cause I'm f***in' stupid. I don't give a f*** about jail. That's my business. That's what I do.
money time business history nice fairness jail morning tomorrow open early walk head stupid give
A man should not leave this earth with unfinished business. He should live each day as if it was a preflight check. He should ask each morning, am I prepared to liftoff
man business live earth day morning leave
Why does a person even get up in the morning? You have breakfast, you floss your teeth so you'll have healthy gums in your old age, and then you get in your car and drive down I10 and die. Life is so stupid I can't stand it.
car funny humor life age healthy person drive morning stand die stupid breakfast teeth
It's been a rough day. I got up this morning... Put on a shirt and a button fell off. I picked up by briefcase and the handle came off. Now I'm afraid to go to the bathroom.
funny humor day morning afraid
This morning when I put on my underwear I could hear the Fruit of the Loom guys laughing at me.
funny humor laughing morning fruit guys hear
It's been a rough day. I got up this morning.. Put on a shirt and a button fell off. I picked up my briefcase and the handle came off. I'm afraid to go to the bathroom!
I went to see my doctor.. Doctor Vidiboomba. Yeah..I told him once.. Doctor.. Every morning when I get up and look in the mirror.I feel like throwing up. What's wrong with me? He said.I don't know but your eyesight is perfect.
Last time I went skiing, I had to get up at 5: 00 in the morning.I knew I couldn't do that, so I slept with my skis on. My ridecame at 5: 30 in the morning, couldn't wake me up so he carriedme out of the house, put my skis on the roof rack of the car, and drove to the mountain. Seventeen miles later, I woke up outof this incredibly bizarre dream that I was skydivinghorizontally. I'm sure this has happened to you.
car funny humor time dream morning mountain house skiing bizarre wake
Never get married in the morning you never know who you might meet that night.
night morning married
To find the universal elements enough; to find the air and the water exhilarating; to be refreshed by a morning walk or an evening saunter; to be thrilled by the stars at night; to be elated over a bird's nest or a wildflower in spring these are some of the rewards of the simple life.
poetry life night stars morning water simple find air spring rewards universal walk evening elements
I couldn't wait for the sun to come up the next morning so that I could get out on the course again.
science morning sun wait
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