When you sell a man a book, you don't sell him 12 ounces of paper and ink and glue - you sell him a whole new life.
life man book ink paper books
I bought a doughnut and they gave me a receipt for the doughtnut.. I don't need a receipt for the doughnut. I give you money and you give me the doughnut, end of transaction. We don't need to bring ink and paper into this. I can't imagine a scenario that I would have to prove that I bought a doughnut. To some skeptical friend, 'Don't even act like I didn't get that doughnut, I've got the documentation right here.. It's in my file at home... Under D.'
funny food money home end imagine friend act ink paper bureaucracy give
Each morning my characters greet me with misty faces willing, though chilled, to muster for another day's progress through the dazzling quicksand the marsh of blank paper.
progress character characters morning faces paper
They take the paper and they read the headlines, so they've heard of unemployment and they've heard of bread lines, and they philanthropically cure them all by getting up a costume charity ball
charity bread read cure paper newspapers unemployment
Several children present me with scraps of paper for autographs: obviously don't know who I am and don't care. I sign Jackie Collins and they go away quite content.
content children present care paper sign
France is a place where the money falls apart in your hands but you can't tear the toilet paper
money hands cities place france paper
You have four years to be irresponsible here. Relax. Work is for people with jobs. You'll never remember class time, but you'll remember time you wasted hanging out with your friends. So, stay out late. Go out on a Tuesday with your friends when you have a paper due Wednesday. Spend money you don't have. Drink 'til sunrise. The work never ends, but college does..
college money people work time jobs friends remember class drink relax sunrise hanging paper
So I'm over there in England, you know, trying to get news about the riots.. And all these Brit people are trying to sympathize with me.. 'Oh Bill, crime is horrible. Bill, if it's any consolation crime is horrible here, too.'.. Shutup. This is Hobbitown and I am Bilbo Hicks, Okay? This is a land of fairies and elves. You do not have crime like we have crime, but I appreciate you trying to be, you know, Diplomatic. You gotta see English crime. It's hilarious, you don't know if you're reading the front page or the comic section over there. I swear to God. I read an article front page of the paper one day, in England, 'Yesterday, some Hooligans knocked over a dustbin in Shafsbry.'.. Wooooo. 'The hooligans are loose! The hooligans are loose!.. What if they become roughians? I would hate to be a dustbin in Shafsbry tonight. (to the tune of Behind Blue Eyes by The Who) No one knows what it's like.. To be a dustbin.. In Shafsbry.. With hooligans..' What the HELL are you talkin' about? Hooligans? Roughians? Speak English! It's Crypt, Blood. I mean, I'm sure it's a serious thing, Hooligans, but it just sounds stupid, doesn't it? I picture a bunch of pale guys with pennyloafers and no socks. (to a tune) 'We're the hooligans!' (Sound of knocking dustbin over) 'Come here, you fuckers, come here.' 'Nope! Got-to catch us! If you corner me I might become a scalliwag!'.. It doesn't sound scary at all, does it? They have proper crime there. I'd love to put the hooligans up against the Bloods in LA.. That would be a short gang battle. (To a tune, again) 'We're the hooligans!' (sound of dustbin knocking over)-- (boom boom boom *gunshots*). '.. Huh? Hoola-somethin', I didn't catch it all. Mothafucka danced up to me and patted me on the head. Pale mothafucka, look at that thing.' It wouldn't be a long gang battle. I'm bettin' on the Bloods.
reading funny humor sound comedy crime people hate battle day news blood hell eyes speak picture guys scary read sounds elves fairies english head blue stupid land hilarious consolation england paper god love thing comic short
It takes a long time to educate a community and it can't be done by spellbinders, moneybags, hypnotizers or magicians or Aladdin's lamp. Character is what matters on a paper.
community time character paper
Computers may save time but they sure waste a lot of paper. About 98 percent of everything printed out by a computer is garbage that no one ever reads.
computers thetimes time waste computer paper save
I soothe my conscience now with the thought that it is better for hard words to be on paper than that Mummy should carry them in her heart.
conscience thought heart words hard paper
Whenever I found out anything remarkable, I have thought it my duty to put down my discovery on paper, so that all ingenious people might be informed thereof.
duty sharing people thought curiosity discovery found paper
Everything reminds Milton Friedman of the money supply. Well, everything reminds me of sex, but I keep it out of the paper.
money sex economics paper
Fame lost its appeal for me when I went into a public restroom and an autograph seeker handed me a pen and paper under the stall door.
fame door the-public lost public paper pen
Sometimes my feelings are so hot that I have to take the pen and put them out on paper to keep them from setting me afire inside; then all that ink and labor are wasted because I can't print the results
results labor feelings hot inside ink paper pen print
The primary function of the government is - and here I am quoting directly from the U.S. Constitution - to spew out paper.
government constitution paper
Try and be a sheet of paper with nothing on it.<br/>Be a spot of ground where nothing is growing,<br/>where something might be planted,<br/>a seed, possibly, from the Absolute.
growth growing absolute seed paper
Went to the beach for the day and wrote as much as I could about this incredible experience and where my life seemed to be taking me, etc. I fell asleep, and when I woke up the papers were blowing down the beach and into the water. I sat up and watched until I couldn't see one piece of paper left. I drove home and felt happy.
life happiness home experience happy day water asleep beach paper left
Ideas are elusive, slippery things. Best to keep a pad of paper and a pencil at your bedside, so you can stab them during the night before they get away.
ideas night things paper
Ideas? My head is full of them, one after the other, but they serve no purpose there. They must be put down on paper, one after the other.
purpose ideas serve head paper
This paper will no doubt be found interesting by those who take an interest in it
doubt interesting found interest paper
I wrote my friend a letter using a highlighting pen. But he could not read it, he thought I was trying to show him certain parts of a piece of paper.
thought letters friend letter read paper pen
Paper napkins never return from a laundry - nor love from a trip to the law courts
law return paper love courts
So they were married-to be the more together- And found they were never again so much together, Divided by the morning tea, By the evening paper, By children and tradesmen's bills
marriage children morning tea found paper evening
The mind is like a sheet of white paper in this, that the impressions it receives the oftenest, and retains the longest, are black ones.
mind black impressions white paper
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