War will never cease until babies begin to come into the world with larger cerebrums and smaller adrenal glands.
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I gather, young man, that you wish to be a Member of Parliament. The first lesson that you must learn is, when I call for statistics about the rate of infant mortality, what I want is proof that fewer babies died when I was Prime Minister than when anyone else was Prime Minister. That is a political statistic.
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A baby is God's opinion that life should go on.
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Two babies were born on the same day at the same hospital. They lay there and looked at each other. Their families came and took them away. Eighty years later, by a bizarre coincidence, they lay in the same hospital, on their deathbeds, next to each other. One of them looked at the other and said, So. What did you think?
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I found one day in school a boy of medium size ill-treating a smaller boy. I expostulated, but he replied 'The bigs hit me, so I hit the babies that's fair.' In these words he epitomized the history of the human race.
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Our children are here to stay, but our babies and toddlers and preschoolers are gone as fast as they can grow up-and we have only a short moment with each. When you see a grandfather take a baby in his arms, you see that the moment hasn't always been long enough.
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What good mothers and fathers instinctively feel like doing for their babies is usually best after all.
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Jack was out kissing babies while I was out passing bills. Someone had to tend the store.
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Where do babies come from? Don't bother asking adults. They lie like pigs. However, diligent independent research and hours of playground consultation have yielded fruitful, if tentative, results. There are several theories. Near as we can figure out, it has something to do with acting ridiculous in the dark. We believe it is similar to dogs when they act peculiar and ride each other. This is called making love. Careful study of popular song lyrics, advertising catch-lines, TV sitcoms, movies, and T-Shirt inscriptions offers us significant clues as to its nature. Apparently it makes grown-ups insipid and insane. Some graffiti was once observed that said sex is good. All available evidence, however, points to the contrary.
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If violence is wrong in America, violence is wrong abroad. If it is wrong to be violent defending black women and black children and black babies and black men, then it is wrong for America to draft us, and make us violent abroad in defense of her. And if it is right for America to draft us, and teach us how to be violent in defense of her, then it is right for you and me to do whatever is necessary to defend our own people right here in this country.
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Since people are going to be living longer and getting older, they'll just have to learn how to be babies longer.
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A babe in the house is a well-spring of pleasure, a messenger of peace and love, a resting place for innocence on earth, a link between angels and men
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Babies are such a nice way to start people
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A two-year old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it.
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It is the nature of babies to be in bliss.
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My friend has a baby. I'm recording all the noises he makes so later I can ask him what he meant.
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A baby is an inestimable blessing and bother
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Every baby born into the world is a finer one than the last
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Father asked us what was God's noblest work. Anna said men, but I said babies. Men are often bad, but babies never are.
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The kind of man who thinks that helping with the dishes is beneath him will also think that helping with the baby is beneath him, and then he certainly is not going to be a very successful father
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If you were to open up a baby's head - and I am not for a moment suggesting that you should - you would find nothing but an enormous drool gland.
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Babies don't need a vacation but I still see them at the beach. I'll go over to them and say, 'What are you doing here, you've never worked a day in your life!'.
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I can't think why mothers love them. All babies do is leak at both ends.
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Now the thing about having a baby - and I can't be the first person to have noticed this - is that thereafter you have it.
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If you put a baseball and other toys in front of a baby, he'll pick up a baseball in preference to the others.
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