I am irritated by my own writing. I am like a violinist whose ear is true, but whose fingers refuse to reproduce precisely the sound he hears within.
funny writing creativity humour
Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory.
funny health happiness humour
Is he all scarred now?Magic gets rid of most physical scars, but I like to think I scarred him emotionally.
funny humour
This may be my only chance to see humans before these two are made into fertilizer for Moonwind's rosebushes.
funny dragons humour
We started off trying to set up a small anarchist community, but people wouldn't obey the rules.
funny rules life society anarchy humour
So, great. This is Campwhat do you call it? Camp Fish-Blood?Aphros frowned. I hope that was a joke. This is Camp __________. He made a sound that was a series of sonar pings and hisses.
I find that if you just talk, your mouth comes up with stuff.
A dog has got human eyes.
Incidentally, I only have one cavity, and as much as my dentist asks me to, I just can't bring myself to floss.
funny life charlie humour
When statistics come in saying that only 29 percent of American women would describe themselves as feminist - and only 42 percent of British women - I used to think, What do you think feminism IS, ladies? What part of 'liberation for women' is not for you? Is it freedom to vote? The right not to be owned by the man you marry? The campaign for equal pay? 'Vogue' by Madonna? Jeans? Did all that good shit GET ON YOUR NERVES? Or were you just DRUNK AT THE TIME OF SURVEY?
funny feminism humour
Fortunately (or unfortunately, depending on where you were sitting) Libby let off the smelliest, loudest fart known to humanity. It came out of her bum-oley with such force that she lifted off my knee - like a hovercraft. Even she looked surprised by what had come out of her.
Gabe brings home a chicken and Tommy Falk for dinner. Truth be told, I'm not unhappy to see any of them. Gabe, because it's been so long since we've had dinner with him; the chicken because it's not beans; and Tommy Falk because his presence makes Gabe cheerful and goofy.
funny humour chicken
Sober or blotto, this is your motto: keep muddling through.
funny drinking motto humour
Red sky at night, the city's alight.
I focused, rather embarrassingly, on his chest which was rising and falling slowly. I left teeth marks!
funny romance humour
Roses are red violets are blue, God made me pretty, what happened to you?
.. We've already had one horrible thing happen today, which means that if you think about it the odds of anything else horrible happening again in the next few hours should now be quite low.
funny humor humour
Frokosten ligner svært en god engelsk frokost, bortsett fra kaffen som slett ikke ligner en engelske, men tvert imot er god.
Eating was easy. Thinking was hard.
Death by creaming
Klokken 9 om kvelden nådde vi skyss-skiftet Kvisberg, men da hadde vi allerede for lenge siden tatt avskjed med veien, som var avgått ved en stille død etter lengre tid å ha kjempet med det protesterende terreng.
I had an aunt named 'abnormal Shauna' once. But she passed away in an unfortunate cliff-top interpretative dance and fireworks accident.
funny humor humorous humourous humour
I've had quite enough danger for a while I think. I might have some more when I'm thirteen, but definitely not before then..
.. Food was at least three million per cent more delicious when you ate it immediately after thinking you were going to die.
Angela spared a glare for Kami, and then resumed her marathon glaring session at Jared. 'It's too weird. I'm going to call you Carl.'Jared scowled. 'I don't want you to call me Carl.''That's interesting, Carl,' said Angela, cheering up.
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