There is indeed a great deal of futility amongst the human race which we do not commonly see, for it all forms part of our illusion; but let a man be much annoyed by something that others do, so that he is separated from them and has to leave them, and looks back at what they are doing, and he'll see at once all manner of whimsical absurdities that he had not noticed before; and Ramon Alonzo in the shade of his oak, waiting for the noon to go by, grew very contemptuous of the attitude that the world took up towards shadows.
funny truth-of-life humour
For he had acquired a lore in his youth which taught him ever to avoid the aged when merry plans were afoot; for the aged would come with their wisdom and slowness of thought, and other plans would be made, and there would be, at least, delay.
funny humour
I do not speak out not because he is right, I do not speak out because you must argue with a fool for it will result in you becoming a fool.
Try patting them on the back or shoulder and telling them everything is going to be fine. Lots of times when girls cry, they don't want you to fix the problem, they just want to be consoled.
funny life girls humour
And very amusing it is to watch, said Jem. Did you know you twitch your nose when you sleep, like a rabbit?I do not, she said, with a whispered laugh.- In my dreams (Chapter 17) deleted scene- Clockwork Prince
funny humour clockwork-prince jem
If you want a man who's commited, go look in a mental hospital.
funny men commitment humour
When majority is insane, sane must go to asylum.
funny satire democracy humour
People throw stones at you and you convert them into milestones.
funny inspirational-quotes life-and-living motivational-quotes humour
Love all.. But don't allow all to love you.
The plain of Bedegraine was a forest of pavilions. They looked like old-fashioned bathing tents, and were every colour of the rainbow... There were heraldic devices worked or stamped on the sides.. Then there were pennons floating from the tops of the tents, and sheaves of spears leaning against them. The more sporting barons had shields or huge copper basins outside their front doors, and all you had to do was to give a thump on one of these with the butt-end of your spear, for the baron to come out like an angry bee and have a fight with you, almost before the resounding boom had died away. Sir Dinadain, who was a cheerful man, had hung a chamber-pot outside his.
funny chivalry humour
The mind is like an unsafe neighbourhood. Don't go there alone
There are times, Kruppe murmurs, when celibacy born of sad deprivation becomes a boon, nay, a source of great relief.
funny insightful humour
Griffin Drake and his MacBook were the best of friends, more intimate than lovers. He slept with it. He cared for it with specially made cleaning cloths and cans of air to keep it dust free. Plants and fish had died under his watch with alarming regularity, but the computer-the computer was tended like a child.
The letter... What did your lords make of it, I wonder?Stannis snorted. Celtigar pronounced it admirable. If I showed him the contents of my privy, he would declare that admirable as well.
Ser Cleos raised a shout. When Jaime looked up, Brienne was lumbering along the clifftop well ahead of them, having cut across a finger of land while they were following the bend in the river. She threw herself off the rock, and looked almost graceful as she folded into a dive. It would have been ungracious to hope that she would smash her head on a stone.
After the brightness of the morning, the interior of the pavilion seemed cool and dim. Stannis seated himself on a plain wooden camp stool and waved Davos to another. One day I may make you a lord, smuggler. If only to irk Celtigar and Florent. You will not thank me, though. It will mean you must suffer through these councils, and feign interest in the braying of mules. Why do you have them, if they serve no purpose?The mules love the sound of their own braying, why else? And I need them to haul my cart.
I need new prayers, the old ones don't work anymore.
funny inspirational humour
Italics are like a rash -- you never know whether to ignore them entirely or whether the more you attention you give the more they spread.
If a book falls open in a library and no one sees it, is it still writing? Or is it simply a page bearing abstract markings?
Travel broadens the mind. Travel shrinks the wallet. Travel shrivels the testicles.
She had her head in a book. Like me she preferred reading about travel to actually traveling; it was so much more comfortable.
Jeremy tried to be an interesting person. The trouble was that he was the kind of person who, having decided to be an interesting person, would first of all try to find a book called How to Be An Interesting Person and then see whether there were any courses available.
funny self-help humour
She introduced herself to my parents with one of her mighty, bunny-crushing handshakes. (I'd never seen Claudia crush a bunny, to be fair, but that's the approximate level of pressure.)
funny humor humour
Books Are Good For Lots Of Uses, Not For Dropping In The Toilet.
General: Where are you from?Spike: London. General: Which part?Spike: .. Well, all of me.
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