I do come home at Christmas. We all do, or we all should. We all come home, or ought to come home, for a short holiday - the longer, the better - from the great boarding school where we are forever working at our arithmetical slates, to take, and giv
home school christmas forever working great short
So I'm over there in England, you know, trying to get news about the riots.. And all these Brit people are trying to sympathize with me.. 'Oh Bill, crime is horrible. Bill, if it's any consolation crime is horrible here, too.'.. Shutup. This is Hobbitown and I am Bilbo Hicks, Okay? This is a land of fairies and elves. You do not have crime like we have crime, but I appreciate you trying to be, you know, Diplomatic. You gotta see English crime. It's hilarious, you don't know if you're reading the front page or the comic section over there. I swear to God. I read an article front page of the paper one day, in England, 'Yesterday, some Hooligans knocked over a dustbin in Shafsbry.'.. Wooooo. 'The hooligans are loose! The hooligans are loose!.. What if they become roughians? I would hate to be a dustbin in Shafsbry tonight. (to the tune of Behind Blue Eyes by The Who) No one knows what it's like.. To be a dustbin.. In Shafsbry.. With hooligans..' What the HELL are you talkin' about? Hooligans? Roughians? Speak English! It's Crypt, Blood. I mean, I'm sure it's a serious thing, Hooligans, but it just sounds stupid, doesn't it? I picture a bunch of pale guys with pennyloafers and no socks. (to a tune) 'We're the hooligans!' (Sound of knocking dustbin over) 'Come here, you fuckers, come here.' 'Nope! Got-to catch us! If you corner me I might become a scalliwag!'.. It doesn't sound scary at all, does it? They have proper crime there. I'd love to put the hooligans up against the Bloods in LA.. That would be a short gang battle. (To a tune, again) 'We're the hooligans!' (sound of dustbin knocking over)-- (boom boom boom *gunshots*). '.. Huh? Hoola-somethin', I didn't catch it all. Mothafucka danced up to me and patted me on the head. Pale mothafucka, look at that thing.' It wouldn't be a long gang battle. I'm bettin' on the Bloods.
reading funny humor sound comedy crime people hate battle day news blood hell eyes speak picture guys scary read sounds elves fairies english head blue stupid land hilarious consolation england paper god love thing comic short
You'll never get anywhere with all those damned little short sentences.
communication short
Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless.
kind communication words speak easy short
Communism is the death of the soul. It is the organization of total conformity - in short, of tyranny - and it is committed to making tyranny universal.
organization death soul tyranny universal communism conformity short
Never cut short your waiting with compromise. Simply put, the waiting's not over until the waiting's done.
waiting compromise short
With Heaven's aid I have conquered for you a huge empire. But my life was too short to achieve the conquest of the world. That task is left for you
life world achieve left aid conquest short
A lot of people mistake a short memory for a clear conscience.
mistakes conscience people memory mistake short
A Constitution should be short and obscure
constitution short
Life is not so short but that there is always time for courtesy
life courtesy time short
It is more fun to talk with someone who doesn't use long, difficult words but rather short, easy words like What about lunch?
funny fun cute words talk difficult easy short
I still find each day too short for all the thoughts I want to think, all the walks I want to take, all the books I want to read, and all the friends I want to see.
life friends thoughts day find read books short
Every day has been so short, every hour so fleeting, every minute so filled with the life I love that time for me has fled on too swift a wing.
life thetimes time day love short
The long days are no happier than the short ones
days day short
Life is short, wear tropical shirts.
funny humor life death relaxation short
Those have a short Lent, who owe money to be paid at Easter.
money easter debt short
While democracy in the long run is the most stable form of government, in the short run, it is among the most fragile.
government democracy run form fragile short
Whoever said Marriage is a 50-50 proposition laid the foundation for more divorce fees than any other short sentence in our language.
marriage language foundation divorce short
Doubt is to certainty as neurosis is to psychosis. The neurotic is in doubt and has fears about persons and things; the psychotic has convictions and makes claims about them. In short, the neurotic has problems, the psychotic has solutions.
doubt problems solutions fears neurosis convictions things certainty psychosis short
Life is too short to be living somebody else's dream.
dreams life living dream short
Dreams are, by definition, cursed with short life spans
dreams life definition short
It is nothing short of a miracle that modern methods of instruction have not yet entirely strangled the holy curiosity of inquiry.
miracles education curiosity miracle modern inquiry holy short
Through all eternity to thee, a joyful song I'll raise; for oh! Eternity's too short to utter all thy praise.
eternity song praise short
Probably every new and eagerly expected garment ever put on since clothes came in fell a trifle short of the wearer's expectation
expectation clothes short
Proverbs are short sentences drawn from long experience.
experience quotations proverbs short
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