If by some bizarre chance there turns out to be a god [..], I'm willing to bet he's an atheist too.
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Good books make you ask questions. Bad readers want everything answered.
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I realise people exist who don't read. But it's like I knew there were people who didn't breathe or eat: I can't imagine a life like that.
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OK, publishing a book and releasing a movie is all very well, but Tottenham beating Man. U. 3-2.. Priceless.
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For new media reactionaries.. The problem is technology, the endless distractions of the Internet, the breakdown of authority in an age of blogs and Twitter, the collapse of narrative in a hyper-linked, multi-networked world.
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Like many people, I feel like celebrating. Remember this feeling. It is human, and can help us understand when others express bloodlust.
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Tip to all British tabloids: Do Not Hack Amy Winehouse's Phone. I repeat: Do Not Hack Amy Winehouse's Phone.
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Dear Teens at Starbucks wearing 'Abstain from Sex 2 Attain Ur Goals' t-shirts: Doesn't it depend on what my goals are?
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My guest Newt Gingrich shut down the government during the Clinton administration. I'll ask him when it's gonna start working again.
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NC passed law against global warming science, therefore it's not happening. So I'm ignoring Twitter's 140-character limit, so it's not happ
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Mitt Romney's email was hacked! So if you start getting messages that sound like they're from a bot, he's fixed the problem.
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Scientists have invented a new strain of cannabis without the high. They celebrated with non-alcoholic beer and furious dry-humping.
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After obsessively Googling symptoms for four hours, I discovered 'obsessively Googling symptoms' is a symptom of hypochondria.
A new study shows that having a severe phobia can hasten aging. But what if my greatest fear IS aging?
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Summer movie idea: take all the sequels that are out right now, and make movies about their backstories.
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If I had one wish, it would be for self-drying pants. Wait -- no! Unlimited wishes! How do I return these stupid pants!
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I love making observations. That one is a classic example.
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I'm off for two weeks, so until I get back, take the characters in this tweet and parcel them out one per day. Use this Q wisely.
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The Yankees' Facebook page was hacked. The hacker was immediately purchased and signed to a 5 year contract with the Yankees.
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It's August, which means Congress is on recess and Mitch McConnell has shimmied back into the ocean to seek a mate.
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New Labour leader Ed Miliband announces plan to 'make this party slightly less unelectable by 2015'. He added: 'I am Ed, the Almighty One.'Defeated brother David Miliband overheard muttering: 'Now I know how Wayne Christ felt after little Jesus came along.
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.. Some say Twitter seems trite and lacks weightiness - but in actuality, it lends itself to poetry - it can be very compressed and intense..
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When Loughner himself speaks and we find out his real influences are Spiderman, 'Gnome Chomsky,' Taylor Swift, and Dr. Bronner, then what?
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I am just mystified by these people telling me I would think Obama was doing a great job if his skin contained less melanin.
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What is more likely? That tomorrow will be called 'Thursday' or that Maxine Waters will play the race card in her ethics investigation?
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