My old man, he carries around the picture of the kid that came with the wallet.
man history picture
Last Halloween a kid tried to rip my face off. He thought it was a mask. Now it's different when I open the door the kids hand me candy.
door history thought kids mask face open hand halloween candy
I went to a gay bar, they wanted proof of sex so I showed them, they said it wasn't enough.
proof history gay sex
My uncles dying wish was to have me sit in his lap he was in the electric chair
history dying
One year they asked me to be poster boy for birth control.
birth history control boy
I worked in a pet store and people would ask how big I would get.
pet people history big
What a dog I got, he found out we look alike, so he killed himself.
history dog found
What a dog I got. I tried to mate her she wants 50 biscuits.
history dog
Some dog I got too. We call him Egypt. Because in every room he leaves a pyramid.
history dog call egypt
I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.
history parents radio toys
When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up.
history cat
When I was born, the doctor said to my father, I'm sorry, we did everything we could but he still pulled thru.
history born father doctor
I looked up my family tree and found three dogs using it.
history family dogs found tree
Why do they report power outages on TV?
age power history tv
Many men have been just as troubled morally and spiritually as you are right now. Happily, some of them kept records of their troubles. You'll learn from themif you want to. Just as someday, if you have something to offer, someone will learn something from you. It's a beautiful reciprocal arrangement. And it isn't education. It's history. It's poetry.
poetry men nature history education beautiful troubles learn offer records
I told my dentist I want a tooth to match the others. He gave my one with four cavities.
history
I told him I think my wife has V.D. He gave himself a shot of penicillin
history wife shot
Doc, every morning I look in the mirror and feel like barfing, what's wrong, he said I don't know but your eyesight is perfect.
history wrong perfect feel morning mirror
My friends and I play a new version of Russian roulette, we pass around six girls and one of them has V.D.
history girls friends play russian
Group sex are you kidding I had group sex My wife screwed in front of the jury.
history sex wife
I once had a problem.. So I tried group sex. Now I have a new problem who to thank.
history problem sex
I get up and a button falls off, I pick up my briefcase and the handle falls off I'm afraid to go to the bathroom.
history afraid
Once in a restaurant I made a toast to my wife, To the best woman a man ever had. The waiter joined me.
man history woman wife made
I went to look for a used car and found my wife's dress in the back seat.
car history found dress
My wife wants sex in the back of the car and she wants me to drive.
car history drive sex wife
Showing 176 to 200 of 6019 results
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